Just a quick one here, but do please tell me what you would do in this situation.
You see today one of the kids made it his aim to bite my bottom at all costs…like, he wasn’t going to let anything get in his way until my butt cheeks were shredded to pieces and bleeding profusely (not that it matters or anything, but I was wearing white so this would have been an issue)…anyway, yeah – not sure if this kid hadn’t had breakfast or if he had just watched Jaws, but either way he just wouldn’t stop! And I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to do…like do I just let him do it till he gets bored…or do I make him a sandwich? Like seriously…
He’s one of those huge, how the hell are you only six kinds of kids – I am not sure what his Mother feeds him, but if I had to guess it would be probably be something like; steroids, Miracle-Gro and elephant meat. Anyway…with that said, he is six, so restraining him was still not much of a challenge, even for a skinny guy like me. Problem was that when I put him in a corner by himself, he would start thumping himself on the head, over, and over, and over, and over…
“ALEX!”
THUMP “OW!” THUMP “OW!” THUMP “OW!”
“ALEX! STOP THAT YOU”LL-“
THUMP “OW!” THUMP –
I grabbed his wrists and began to try and explain…
“OKAY! That’s enough…you’ll hurt yourself Alex, you ca-“
“No…I am going to tell my Mom that you hit me…and that you wouldn’t stop…”
I saw that devilish glint, that horrid zeal, that evil genius, flash in his empty brown eyes.
“YOU DISGRACEFUL LITTLE FUCKING SHIT! YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!” I said (to myself), while smiling like a TelliTubbie,
“I’ll tell her tonight.” He smirked proudly.
Can you imagine that conversation?! haha, children really don’t think things through…
Anyway, in other news today I was playing doctors with a couple of the kids and it just so happened one of them had heart problems (my specialty, luckily for her!) I did my usual thing, but unfortunately it didn’t seem to do the trick – I was told it had moved somewhere else…when I asked where she pointed to her butt hole, (oh the gross joys of kindergarten)…
“Yeah, we’re not playing this game anymore…”
“Why? Doctors can go there!”
“ERRRRRRRR…YEAH BUT PEOPLE…ERRRRRRR…”
“Come on, you’re a Doctor!”
“ERRRRR…YES, I AM, BUT…ERRR…WHO WANTS CANDY?!”
“MEEEEEE! MEEEE! MEEEE!”
Phew…averted, for now…
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John Lee Taggart 
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