Perhaps you remember me blabbing* on about the possibility of a comic strip, based on Storytime with John? You see I’d met with a Korean publishing company that had came up with the idea…each episode would be a typical tale of a foreigner encountering cultural differences and weirdness….well…about that…it’s not happening – at least for the time-being.
A little infuriating as I had written out over twenty episodes already…and just had to sit there and take it, as they were effectively flushed down the toilet. I say “a little infuriating”, but I really mean “gut wrenchingly, eyes-popping out, crazed beast rage”.
Instead, I was asked to come up with some ideas for a brand new comic…“I want a crazy Spongebob – anything goes world!” were the words he used, as he sent me on my way and closed the door. Now I had no idea what that meant, but I gave it a shot all the same! I wanted it to be a universally loved creation – It seems that Spongebob is one of those figures who people either adore, or despise – like a Justin Bieber, but in cartoon form, living in a pineapple, under the sea…okay, so there is only a vague similarity…they both wear pants, let’s leave it there.
But I wanted my creation to be love-able in every which way! Any piece of writing I do, anything I construct – I never want anyone to say “I fucking HATE this!” Maybe they end up hating it…but that is another story! So I came up with four separate stories that I would offer to him, so he could pick the one he liked most (or hated the least!) I am sure they will sound so dreadful when I explain them – BUT THEY ARE MY BABIES SO DON’T SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY BABIES!
The first one was about a monkey test pilot called Morgan, who crash lands on the moon, and is then taken in by the alien population who live there…the second was about a futuristic world in which dolphins now rule on the land, the third was about a Dream School where every monster goes to train to be in our dreams or nightmares, and the fourth was based around a microcosm empire living under a kid’s messy bed. Phew…
Just picture me, sat in a CEO’s office, suited up, and sweating – rambling my explanations, and descriptions in the same manner as I have just spoken them to you…checking his reaction, paying attention to his furrowed brow, and his unflinching stare. I sounded STUPID. This had all seemed like a good idea, I had sat and constructed these creatures, their worlds, decided what foods they loved, and ones they hated – I was a special guest in each of their lives…but I still couldn’t make them sound even vaguely interesting when trying to explain aloud.
“So that’s…those…those are the ideas I had. Sorry, I was…”
“I like one, and four – so let’s go with those. Everyone likes a monkey, we can get that set up late this year – the bed monsters…February 2015?”
He made some calls, as I sat there trying to look professional, and not like someone had whispered into my ear “psssst, you have won the lottery, but you can only collect it if you keep a straight face!” I was ecstatic. I mean…it was craziness. Is this what the adult world is? Just dressing up in suits, and talking about cartoons? Apparently so.
Anyway, due to have some meetings soon to take things forward. He has flown to Hollywood for some work, when he told me my automatic reaction was “ooooooohhh la-la!” which I honestly wish I could retract, but never mind, what’s done is done. This is slowing things down though, but he said he will send me some early sketches the artist has drawn up, sometime soon. When I get them, you get them!
In other news, I am heading back to the UK for Christmas (WOOOOO! FIRST TIME IN THREE YEARS!) and I have accepted an afternoon job starting January, at an English academy close to Gangnam, Seoul – reason being I can’t rely entirely on Mr. Hollywood, and have to pay those bills! Unless…anyone wants to be my mysterious benefactor? I do have Great Expectations after all!
Oh, and thanks to writerinsoul for reminding me to update you all on this!*
John Lee Taggart 
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