The Forking Path

As this year draws to a close, I find myself musing on all that has happened up till now – and pondering on what may come my way in the future…the funny thing is, things never turn out the way you expect – which is what makes life so interesting! Or scary depending on how you look at things…

Fargo GIF

I could have taken a lot of different pathways already, and by not following certain ones it has in turn led me on to other things – for better, or for worse! 

Like when I was seventeen, or eighteen…or something, I found myself on the pathway to becoming an accountant. Yeah, exactly…ME…an accountant?! It was complete madness, as I have never been any good at maths; actually even now I find myself counting on my fingers out of force of habit! I recall in school I was often lucky to even get a C grade…that was probably because it didn’t engage, or excite me as a subject – instead I did a lot of looking out of the window, and day-dreaming, which for some reason didn’t pay dividends when it came to my exams. In English it did…which may be unsurprising, but more on that later…

But you see I wasn’t on the accountancy pathway by chance. I had purposefully plonked myself there, albeit with a somewhat faulty compass. I had my (first) girlfriend, who I loved a horrendous amount…you know, the horrible first love where you would tear your eyes out, and fry them for dinner should it ever be requested. It’s manic, and a total roller-coaster – it has ups, and downs,  makes you physically sick, and  leaves you full of regret afterwards. That’s why I only like the bumper cars at theme parks. Wait that sounds like a weird metaphor…

Anyway, as I was in love, like true Disney style love – and clearly this young lady was the one with which I would spend the rest of my days, and nights with – it would be necessary that I provide for my to-be wife, and our inevitable swarm of children. It sounds farcical, and ridiculous now – but at the time I was very serious about all of this. So I found an accountancy training programme with Proctor & Gamble, in which they would pay for me to do a finance degree (OH MY GOD CAN YOU IMAGINE MAN?!), whilst also earning a good salary. Sure, I would hate my working life from start to finish, and would probably eagerly await death to put an end to the constant Matrix style stream of numbers, as every day I would return from my toil to my resentful wife, and the children who hate me because I am never there – because I am at a job I don’t even like, to get things I don’t even want…but still, at least I would have money. Which is all that is really important, right? …wait, RIGHT?!

So I told my plan to one of my best friends…who in turn told me I was a fool, and reminded me in no uncertain terms that this was a silly choice to make. I tried in vain to create circumstances in which my life in accountancy would be one of excitement, and thrill…

Accountancy Cool GIF

But he came back in amazing style, bombarding me with text, after text, after text, of cruel accountancy jokes – of which most centered on the premise of how boring that career path would potentially be for me, a person with no interest in mathematics whatsoever. I wasn’t convinced, or at least I told myself I wasn’t. That is until my girlfriend broke up with me out of the blue, (leaving me utterly destroyed may I add) and I came to a new clearing in which another pathway emerged…after the soul-blackening anguish that was getting over her, of course. But after that I saw the pathways more clearly – filled with real dreams, and hopes – not made up ones that were only fueled by money, and things.

So sure I headed on with my heart as my guide, rather than my head – but I am glad I did. Even if my Mother does often hark back to those times whenever I am hard up; whether it be facing rejections, unemployment, or general urghhhhhnessss frustrations – all things that will come to writers/English graduates. She likes to reminisce, and remind me that I could be driving a “flash sports car”, and living in a “classy apartment” now, like the guys in American Psycho. Well, nerr. It’s not me.

Instead here I am, suddenly at a spaghetti junction of pathways, which stretch out, and wind in all different directions. And despite all the madness…I am happy, and I am hopeful. 2015. I am pretty much blind to what you may have to offer along the road, but I am walking with you all the same.

50 thoughts on “The Forking Path

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  1. This made me laugh as I can completely relate. Sounds like at least through this experience that you are one step closer to finding and fulfilling your true purpose in life. It stinks that we have to go through so much heartache to figure it all out though.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My first job was in a bank. I just terrible.

    The wealth you’ve gained in your travels and your ability to touch the hearts of others with your writing far outweighs any sports car or classy apartment (even if it does mean beans on toast every night 😉 ).

    I wish I’d have trusted my heart all of those years ago. But I am doing it now and that is what counts.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. hahaha beans on toast, indeed! How funny 🙂 I have a slew of bad jobs in tow, but they’re leaning experiences, right?

      Thanks a lot by the way that means so much! And yes, you are doing beautifully and you should be proud! Some people spend their whole lives without doing so.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. It is amazing how many people perform jobs early on and stay with them even though the job is not fulfilling in any way. I know first hand. Good to hear that you are doing what makes you happy now.

      Keep cranking,

      Robert the DividendDreamer

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I had a similar experience. I was pursuing this gorgeous gal in college who wanted to try out for a play. I tagged along just to be with her. I had to audition to stay and…I got a part, she didn’t and that killed the relationship. But I got a new Major and met a lot of great gals!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think you are wise beyond your years, John. I believe you are doing the right thing. All the rest will fall into place if you keep following your passions and making FRIENDS wherever you go! Happy Holidays, my friend!


  5. I’ve never gotten my dream job. Which is to be a mattress tester. I had to settle for something a little less desirable, but it was still fun. I hope you find the perfect job for yourself, but if not, I hope you still enjoy whatever it is you end up doing.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. John, I’ve got at least a decade on you so I can proudly say I’ve gone through this many times; and hopefully many times more before I figure things out and simply exist without existing. Your 2015 will be stellar. You’ll make it that way. Just as mine will be legendary! It’s what needs to be done.


  7. I’m 34 and am truly inspired by your life choices. I worked in drudgery until a few years ago. It paid the bills and then some. It was terrifying when I left “job stability” behind, but I’ve never been happier. I do what I love now. Some days I miss the stable income, but I’ll take the variables over prying my eyes open with a toothpick any day. Cheers of good fortune to you in 2015!


  8. Loved that story. Some lives could be novels. The hardest thing is finding and being yourself – a lifetime’s work. Perhaps having a soulmate aids the process… Who knows?
    Keep following that path and best wishes for 2015 and the rest. Cheers


  9. It’s a wonderful thing to have those friends who will tell you when you’re being completely ridiculous, though they can be hard to stomach when the “I told you so”s start rolling in. But hey, ya live, ya learn, and that’s what makes life fun. And worth talking about.


  10. I can so relate to this. I did a Commerce degree specialising in Human Resource Management and then realised that I would have to spend the rest of my life forcing people to do performance appraisals. Noooooo! Had a great time at Uni though. We need Accounting graduates to balance our books but we need Arts graduates to balance our lives. Looking forward to more great reads next year.


  11. Ha, a swarm of kids, really??!! Got me laughing there……and hey, is it that most writers share the same increibly poor performance in math? I feel you on that bro, i also never managed to get myself of Grade D in math….sometimes things took a serious nose dive to grade E, but hey, all in a days work, right?

    Lovely post!


  12. Its amazing how a simple life decision can affect the outcome of our days. I wish some tart had broken my heart early on so I could have decided on the path I am just now on this year lol. Great read my friend


  13. That last paragraph you wrote up there,was almost like a song Frank Sinatra would sing( try the music ‘ I did it my way!’). May be you have another career waiting there! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Gill 🙂


  14. Oh, I am *so* glad accountancy didn’t work out for you!! You are a man jam-packed full of creativity and fun, and that career path just wouldn’t suit you. Your eagerness for 2015 is perfect – with the right attitude, each new year is going to be the best one yet! Happy New Year.


  15. Reading this post is almost like reflecting on my own life. According to an exam I took way back when, I would make an excellent accountant. Huh! I fell apart in stocks and bonds. It took me most of my life to get to a place where I could pursue what I love — writing.

    Keep on trunkin’!


  16. I had a few of the same issues with past studies and my job. However, I am still in the nasty job and cannot tell you how much I want for something else. You should be proud of yourself for making a choice like you made early on. As long as you are happy doing what you do, it is not really work—Is it? The forking path–Is love it!!! Keep up the good work.

    Keep cranking,

    Robert the DividendDreamer


  17. Maths for me is synoymous with horror ,I never liked that and ya I count with my fingers too. But I had a clear vision that I wanted to pursue writing and English . 🙂
    You have a great blog . 🙂


  18. loved the fargo vine. perfect there.

    as for me, i went to get my PhD in economics. i’m an actress and writer now. making less (ooooo, i’d say MUCH less) money. but. but.

    but, nothing. i’ve never looked back.


  19. Thank you for liking “My Mother’s Photography” and “Jaquet-Droz Automata.” I agree with you that life truly is unpredictable. You think life will be one way, and then a sudden twist of fate takes you in another direction. At least you are now free to live for yourself instead of someone else who obviously did not love you as much as you loved her. I also sympathize with your struggles to find work. It took me a long time to find a steady job where I live. I hope you have a Happy New Year! 🙂


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