John Lee Taggart

There are often tough decisions we have to make in life – some of them are major heart-wrenching numbers, you know; should I move abroad to look for work? Should I go back to school? Do I really need extra cheese on this XL pizza? 

But occasionally these choices demand an instant response, and can’t be deliberated – the choice is a split-second one…and in this moment your brain spins into total chaos attempting to pick out the least offensive best fit ~

That happened to me a few hours ago…in a frenetic snapshot that lasted only a few seconds. You see I was innocently on my jolly old way to the supermarket at about 3:00pm – so I could beat the lines, and get it all over with before I had sniffling school children, and their beleaguered parents wrestling with me for the last on sale pork chop. No siree – not today! 

I was moments away, when a silver blacked out car pulled in. I thought maybe it was the Korean version of The Men in Black, who would drag me in – question me, and then realise I am a complete dunce – and return me to my average activities. But it wasn’t. It was actually a family car, as out hopped a little girl (maybe eight/nine?) who went fleeing off into a nearby building with an excitable spring in her step…

That’s when I noticed she had dropped one of her gloves in her hurry…and was faced with a tricky split-second decision…

Which was of course exacerbated by the fact that I am limited in my grasp of the Korean language…I mean, I certainly don’t know how to say:

“hey excuse me, you dropped your glove! I’m not a creepy weirdo – this isn’t stranger danger, this is stranger…help…err…ing!”

So, my only real option was to pick the glove up, and go running after the girl in silence…like some insane modern-day child catcher…but yeah I immediately figured that’s not a good look – imagine if you dropped your child off, and you immediately witness a strange looking man sprinting as fast as his chubby thighs will carry him, in the direction of your now heavily freaked out daughter…you would probably be a little alarmed? Possibly a smidge concerned at the very least?

My brain picked up on that thankfully, so high five brain! Anyway I had deliberated too long so my target had escaped…not target John…erm…mark? No…well yeah, she was safe, and sound in the building is my point. So I picked up the glove, and went over to the car…

Again – I couldn’t just knock on the window, and say “Excuse me there! Your daughter appears to have dropped her glove! Oh, what a to-do! There you are! Have a good day now!” Or whatever people in England say to each other, I can’t recall for sure – it’s been a while. So instead my brain had the bright idea of just opening the door, and throwing it in. The windows were blacked out, so it’s not like I would have to have awkward eye contact…

…well the car was pulling away, so it was now or never…I tried to bypass the possibly terrible idea, but I couldn’t think of anything else. I’m one of those odd people who would worry about this whole situation not meeting a nice resolution, if I don’t act. I’d be kept awake at night crying over someone’s glove, and what should have happened…I like a happy ending you know? Every glove should stay with their soul mate. 

So that’s what I went with. It was probably the better of two evils – I know that people probably don’t like some random guy opening their car door without permission, probably would be quite a scary moment..what does he want?! Is he going to steal my car?! Try to kill me?! Is he selling something?! OH MY GOD – is he an extremist Jehovah’s Witness?! Maybe this is what they do now!?

Well as I said I didn’t have to deal with eye contact. I just opened it a little, murmured something which I couldn’t even hear through my blaring earphones, threw it in, and then slammed the door – before walking off hastily. I didn’t look back, the car could have blown up for all I know.

But the important thing is that at least it wasn’t on my mind, festering away for years. And the gloves were reunited…wait…perhaps it was a taxi?! That would explain the blacked out windows…OH GOD, I AM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!! ARGHHHH!!!

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