Washed Thumbs.

I’ve noticed something (BREEEEP-BREEEEEP! MASSIVE GENERALISATION ALERT! BREEEEP! BREEEEP!) there is less of a fondness towards the washing of one’s hands after use of the lavatory here in Korea. Well, the men at least, the older men in particular – I can’t really speak for the ladies – they frown upon me entering their bathroom you see. I know! Political correctness gone mad! Anyway, I digress…

My point is that a healthy majority just seem to splash, and dash. I imagine they feel that the urinal (hate that word! That’s my equivalent to people’s distaste to ‘moist’) is less of a touchy, touchy situation so they reckon they don’t have to wash their hands…

Korea GIF

Now I’m not here to launch some kind of campaign. I don’t want people to start ranting on Twitter, and making phrases like #SKHandWash, or #PeePeeGate trend. I just needed to provide that background so I could tell you of a funny little occurrence I had today –

I was in the public bathroom after watching the surprisingly good Big Hero 6 – and as per usual I’m cramped in the corner, and just trying to be over, and done as fast as humanely possible. It was really squashed, and tight in there which made the whole process all the more stifling, and irritating. However for how many people there were in there – there was only one guy standing at the sink washing his hands! Result, I thought to myself! In a weird kinda way…the lackadaisical approach to basic hygiene has paid off!

So I strolled over there – well not strolled, the floor was all wet, and a relaxed stroll could have meant I’d slip over and fall face first into a thousand men’s combined urine trail. So no, it was more of a cautious stepping, I lied about the stroll thing. Wanted to appear more cool I guess. Apologies. 

Disaster GIF

Anyway I got to the sink, and felt my other hand-washing partner stare me down. I could sense him in my peripheral vision – just glaring at me, as he massaged the soap into his hands. Perhaps he is so used to being the only one washing his hands that he took me as a threat?! A rival to his position?! I couldn’t be sure, so I looked back at him, to see what his deal was –

But he wasn’t grimacing with anger at all – he was smiling, in fact he looked over the moon!

“Hand washing?” he beamed, as he winked, and held up soapy thumbs as a sign of his excitement,

“Yeah…” I said, rather blankly – instantly feeling bad for not reciprocating his positivity,

“We’re cool guys. Hand washing is cool!” he cooed, as he dried his hands. I nodded, and did my best fake smile – which felt convincing at the time. He then clicked his fingers, and did a little half-dance wiggle, before heading out.

Back GIF

So my thoughts regarding the whole thing are this – perhaps a nationwide commercial/advertisement? With that guy as the face of the whole thing…he could revolutionize the culture. He certainly changed my view on the whole thing!

But how do I find him…hmmm…

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Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!

Awkward Introduction

Trying to come up with a decent/stupid introduction for the upcoming collection…how does this sound? I know it’s silly, but still…

The Awkward Introduction:

Hello. Hi…hiya? No, hiya is definitely a bit too much. Hello! If it’s alright with you, then I will make this brief. Because I do feel quite strongly that I am making somewhat of a buffoon of myself in this introduction…I would have loved to have just leapt straight into the travel tales, and skipped past all of this. But then you may have been all; “who even is this guy? And why is he so rude a bastard, that he doesn’t even say hello – or introduce himself?! He is well and truly off the Christmas card list!”

Well point taken. Albeit from an imagined, and probably a lot scarier version of yourself.

My name is John. John Lee Taggart. And although that may be a little reminiscent of the classic James Bond line, I couldn’t be further from the character himself. Well I could. I mean I do have a face, and hands, and legs, and other matching body parts – but I mean to say, I am no action hero, or suave lady-killer. Or bad-guy killer. Actually I don’t even kill flies, I’m pathetic…or nice, depending on your outlook.

Profile

What I do like to do though, is live life – and laugh at things. Both are pretty much involuntary, but I enjoy that they happen all the same. So on that note here are a little collection of travel tales from The Global Fool himself – little old me.

I hope you enjoy them. Please don’t throw stones if you don’t. (That’s not a metaphor – I mean like literal stones – they hurt a lot.)

Yours…sincerely? Faithfully? Errr…I never really know…so erm. Bye!

Love John

Also…what’s the deal with Amazon, and charity – as in, is there an option for the profits to go to a charity, or would I have to take it, and give it myself? Is that a stupid question? Errr…you see, as the stories will literally just be a collection of selected ones from the site, I feel it would be nice for it to go to a good cause. Not that I don’t like money, but still.

www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn

www.youtube.com/storytimewithjohn101

Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!