The Age of Wisdumb

I’ve noticed something lately, and I can’t seem to get away from it wherever I turn…it’s on every corner, on every page, on every video, and on every programme…I suppose it’s always been there to some extent – it’s just that now it seems to be reaching alarmingly high levels…

I’m not sure what set this in motion exactly; perhaps it can be linked to the  climate of dumbed down media, or the rise of questionable facts in the form of the internet (oh hi there Doctor Wikipedia!) – or maybe, just maybe there’s some weird X-Files type stuff going on with the water supply (excuse me while I adjust my tin-foil hat…but let’s not rule anything out) – ahem yeah – but seriously whatever the legitimate reason(s) are, the unfortunate situation still remains the same:

…that I feel like I’m surrounded by people with little to no knowledge about fucking anything, who still feel that they have all the answers.  I mean just look around; no one is willing to learn, or should I say…no one is willing to admit their ignorance…and because of this these clueless morons feel they don’t need to be taught as they already have quite enough false wisdom to last for all of eternity…

Dumb and Dumber GIF

And that’s precisely why I have begun referring to this epidemic of prolonged stupidity as ‘The Age of Wisdumb’…gone are the days of the apprentice learning from the master – as in its place we have now replaced that entire archaic story arc with something else…that of the completely unaware but confidently vitriolic humanoid who is always sat in front of his/her computer spouting off hatred and self-assured claims at regular intervals through a variety of different social media platforms…how lovely.

But wait – don’t poor sods like this need guidance then? Instruction from the seasoned masters as they are nothing but empty beginners? Shouldn’t  they seek out the help of someone who has been there and done that, so that they can try and educate and better themselves?

Well no…they don’t have to do any of that silly stuff – as they’ve already watched “like a gajillion YouTube videos”, are rarely not searching something up on Google, and even tune into the news every now and again to keep up on current events…

And it is these reasons, and these reasons alone why many in this cycle have employment positions on Facebook which are legitimately listed as ‘BOSS at GETTIN DAT MONEY’…or something along those lines anyway! Because they’re blatantly all bosses, and they’re blatantly all getting that money.

So anyway, in this world where it is so easy to crown yourself a king, queen, or indeed the aforementioned boss – despite the fact you haven’t done a single thing to  warrant possessing these lofty impressive titles – there is a lot less motivation when it comes to actually working hard, and picking up knowledge through true experience to achieve something real. I mean, why would you do that when there is seemingly an endless supply of easy short cuts?

Short Cut GIF

Think about The Lion King…without his father’s tutelage Simba would have been even more of an arrogant prick than he was as a kid, and would never have grown into the fine figure of a lion that he ended up being in the end. Or what about the Karate Kid, and Mr. Miagi’s “wax on, wax off” training? Or Star Wars, and Yoda?  The Mask of Zorro? Leon?! The list goes on, but they always follow the same perfect formula; young yet enthusiastic characters eagerly  soaking up vital life lessons from seasoned veterans…and despite the initial frustration of having to accept that they basically know nothing; they end up better, stronger, and smarter as a result of listening to their respective “master” figure.

But consider the storylines of those well-known films set in our present culture – they would be very, very different! I mean take Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back just for one of many examples…

Yoda: “A Jedi uses the force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”

Luke: “Pfft! Fuck you, don’t tell me what to do – I’mma boss! I’m out of here.”

Yoda: “That is why you fail.”

Luke: “Yeah whatever you lil’ scrotum face – never preach to me again!”

Yoda GIF

Sorry Yoda. That wisdumb has people talking recklessly these days…

But what’s the reason for all of this all of this ignorant flexing? Why is it that people seem to feel it demeans them to admit not being anything but an expert? Why do so many consider that asking for help or guidance makes you a weaker individual? It’s simply ridiculous…

Take myself for an example – I used to be shy and unsure of what I’m really about…you know, who I am. But nowadays I can be rather unequivocal in my self-assessment: which is that I am a complete and utter moron. I pretty much know nothing! Actually every day I find out new things, which were actually just the old things I was supposed to learn but didn’t ever get right the first time around…so in essence I know less than nothing – which is actually quite liberating in its own lobotomized way. (If not a smidge patronising and depressing).

But other people don’t appear to share my acceptance of my own lack of functioning brain cells…and this coupled with the fact that we don’t really have heroes anymore (not like we used to anyway) – spells disaster. Or to cut to the point directly, it leaves us with a long line of people who aim for overnight celebrity as opposed to something more lasting and meaningful

Fist Pump GIF

Because why not, right?

(Alright anyway, so suspend disbelief for the next little bit please). You see, I could theoretically make a rap song like the above with a controversial video…and go from a resolute nobody to an overnight success (my rap name would be MC Sukkadick and the song would be called “I Hate Everyone’s Grandma”; just so you know) – and then the established artists would be calling up to collaborate in a desperate attempt to stay relevant with what they see as the fresh new talent just because it’s catchy and people are clicking on it a bit. So when the consumer sees things like this happen then the idea of putting in work, building your craft, taking notes from those before you, and basically having heroes you model yourself after is, well…lost. And in it’s place we have a whole slew of entitled, and impatient characters, eager for instant-gratification despite putting in next to no hustle…

Or simply put we have a burgeoning population of overly-confident but largely non-skilled people who preach their wisdumb across social media – and this really upsets my miniature low-functioning brain and I; it really does. Because what they could be doing is listening to those before them, making plans and sticking to them, working hard and following their deepest ambitions even during the hard times, and eventually taking pride in all they  accomplish.

Rather than say…taking a picture of their butt for the entire world in the hope of a few likes. Or taking a video which humiliates their best friend in the hope it will go viral. It’s like…why?

Urghhhh…just take a look around these days, it’s bleak –  there seems to be a lot less artistry and creativity out there than before, but a whole load more content. Largely because there seems to be a lot less people respecting and taking unofficial lessons from those before them; instead people point and say, “if you can do it I can”…which is true, but isn’t so if you skip all of the years of tutelage, hard graft, and knockbacks. So perhaps it’s time we dropped the wisdumb so many seem to be holding on to, and started to seek out wisdom instead…as it’s only through that in which we can truly grow.

Just ask Luke Skywalker…

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Everyday Awkward

Here’s your daily dose of silliness – but something that is seriously all too common in my daily routine…can anyone else relate to my top five everyday awkward moments?

1. Showing someone a video/song, and immediately making excuses for it:

Show GIF

This happens to me a lot…usually it is a “funny” video – or a song that I think no one in their right mind couldn’t love…only to be met with blank stares. “Errrr, just stick with it! Err…it gets good soon…huh…hmm…it isn’t that funny on second thought…sorry…sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Then your friend pretends it wasn’t that bad, and the awkward circle continues.

2. Holding the door open for someone, after miscalculating how far away they were:

Wait Door GIF

This was brought up on a recent post, but I think we can all agree that this one is a lurking MENACE. You are wandering along in your own world, you sort of realise someone is walking somewhere close behind you – naturally you hold open the door, only to look up, and see that they are A HUNDRED MILES AWAY!

Well, not exactly but it certainly feels like it. Again the awkwardness works on both sides, as you have to consider just letting the door close, and risking it slamming in their faces…or keeping it held open, and consequently forcing the stranger to quicken their pace, so that this horrible exchange can finally die. Urgh, how do we do away with this tradition?!

 3. Saying “nice to meet you”, during a phone call:

Awkward GIF

At least people can’t see your facial expressions on the phone…because if they could they would see my face curl into a URGHHHLLLLLDURGGG when I find myself dropping this absolute clanger. I usually attempt to clear it up, with an automatic compliment…like the following…honestly, it doesn’t really work ~

“Nice to meet you.. oh, err – you have lovely eyes – SHIT, no. Errr…can, can…can we just start all this again please? It’s my first phone call ever, so I am a little nervous.” 

– BEEEEEEEEP – Guess not. 

4. Answering back with “you too”, despite it not being applicable:

You Too GIF

This one can strike at any time – it seems to have a field day on birthdays though, you know like…“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” – “Oh, thanks, you too!” And then you have to stand there as a tumbleweed rolls on by. Or perhaps it’ll happen when dealing with restaurants ~ “Hope you enjoy your meal!” – “I will, thanks – you too.” ARGH! 

Why did you even think you could leave the house? Total lack of foresight on your part, I’m afraid! NEVER LEAVE YOUR CAVE, IT’S NOT SAFE!

5. Pushing a “pull” door, and pulling a “push” one:

Push Pull GIF

It’s fine when there’s no one around…well, sort of – you still get a deep burst of sadness, that pushes its way all the way down to your core, and makes you feel worthless. But, still – at least no one saw it, and was able to pass smirking judgement.

This seems to happen more regularly (by horrific coincidence), when I am trying to imitate a cool, movie actor type walkaway. Something like…“well, I best be going – you take care now…see you when I see you.” The turn was perfect, your eyes were piercing, and there was a slight swish to your coat tail as you spun away from the now enchanted individual.

Cut to you, clumsily wrestling with the door, and then having to look back at the person, and use a pathetic, grovelling ‘he-he-he” laugh before you finally make your actual exit.

So, yeah – life…it can be a struggle! Are there any more I have missed out? 

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