LEVEL UP COMING SOON! | 15 Minutes(ish) 0f Blame

Episode 1: Pilot | 15 Minutes(ish) of Blame | Comedy Podcast

In this first episode the boys try to introduce one another, and end up reminiscing about the Lord of the Rings warzone that was secondary school. Good times…ish.

15 Minutes(ish) of Blame is your bi-weekly dose of funny, featuring two real-life best mates and on-camera worst enemies, John Lee Taggart and Jonny Coyne. Subscribe and follow on the Instagrams and Youtubes, and how about listening on the Spotifys and whatever elses? Cheers.

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P.s. Thank you to all Storytime with John readers for bearing with me during these COVID-19 times…after my last announcement we decided to finally get the first ten episodes knocked out and edited by driving to an Air BnB in the middle of nowhere Scotland…this is just the first of many, hope you all enjoy this new daft format!

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STRIKING GOLD! (Doi Suthep)

As I was cleaning out my heavily suffocated laptop (thanks to a ridiculous amount of amusing  GIFs and whatnot) I came across some videos from my time in Thailand earlier this year – there wasn’t much but I put it together in the hope at least one of you enjoy the virtual tour!

This makes me want to travel again…but where next? That is the question, as always!

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Asian Rohan?

The Black Temple, or Baan Si Dum, is essentially thrown in as a “well it’s close by so why not look at it anyway?” sort of thing by the tour guide…or at least that’s how it felt…

BUT ACTUALLY I ENDED UP LOVING IT.

Errr…perhaps I even preferred it to its more famous cousin…hmmm…by the way excuse the rant about modern architecture, I don’t really know what got into me – well boring box buildings is the reason, but still. 

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Fantasy Land…

Following up yesterday’s post here is a very short video of my time at Chiang Rai’s Wat Rong Khun…also known as The White Temple. It’s hard to really describe as there is SO MUCH going on in one relatively small spot…take a look…

Still not sure what to make of it all!

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Chiang Mai…RIDICULOUS Temples

Absolutely blown away by the temples here in Thailand…truly amazing. I feel like all of my dreams as a little boy are just coming to life in these structures (actually I have never changed, but I’m supposed to pretend that dragons and magic aren’t cool now for some reason)…

Well anyway,  here’s a little look of what it has to offer…and trust me, it is definitely cool:

Apologies for the low quality, taken on a phone…sans selfie stick – don’t believe in ’em. 

But hope you enjoyed it all the same! More to come, probably.

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Cruelty in China – Animal Show

Whilst clearing out the clutter from my computer I came across some old files…some videos I had stored away within a folder within a folder. They were videos showing some rather cruel scenes in a Chinese zoo’s ‘Animal Show’. All is explained in the video:

Bizarre, I just don’t get it. But what do you think?

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Burden of Crystals

I have NO IDEA how to really write this sort of stuff, still want to possess an amusing narrative voice but don’t want it to appear odd/off-putting. This piece is basically the back-story of the world which my central character will find himself in once he crosses over…essentially a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. It’s not finished yet, but want to flick between the back-story and the protagonist’s experience as he encounters this world…so in many ways then the reader will be more aware of the conflicts and structure of the further world. Is it okay to do it like that? Is that the done thing?! Anyway, here we go – the creator Father Nature bestowing magical crystals on the unfortunate six:

My energies and wisdom will be divided between you all, as the most prominent and powerful races to be found in this world” spluttered the now decrepit and decaying God…his voice shaking with doubt and regret as he lay there surrounded by six of the most unusual-looking war generals you are ever likely to see. To your eyes they would be figures of dreams or nightmares (depending on your sensitivities), but in this world and at that time they were noble and trusted leaders that were being handed the fate of all they knew and held dear in their hearts. No pressure then, none at all – I mean granted, if they were to mess it up and power was to fall into the wretched hands of Typhon then the world would likely become an active volcano of death, darkness and destruction…a place where vile tyranny, mass-enslavement, and loud perpetual crying would become more commonplace than oxygen, water, or human’s aversion to Mondays. But each of the weary figures were doing all they could to forget such things, as it was the only way of coping with how monumental the task at hand actually was…

And so whilst sharing telling glances with one another each of the chieftains were handed glowing purple crystals, which they were told possessed the shared potential of the creator himself. Energies which would boost the capability of their race, making them worthy matches for a demi-God, rather than weak beings who would otherwise be thrown aside quicker than fruit at a toddler’s birthday party. With these stones they would be able to rise up as heroes in this grave time of need…combining their differing powers and weaknesses to create a sustained harmony wherever and whenever darkness threatened.

This all sounds rather bright and rosy, but it would prove to be no small task. In fact each and every facet of the plan was stacked up in a precarious line of dominoes where even the slightest knock would send things spiralling into a cataclysmic mess – it would have to be cooperation between all six, or sure defeat…let me try to explain this lunacy as best as I possibly can:

You see, The Satyrs are renowned for their vast intelligence and deep connection to the natural world (great!), but are hindered by their selfish and often vain personalities (not so great.). However this could possibly be softened by the wise nature of the enchanted Djinns – a warrior- mage race who were ardent scholars of sorcery. And yet wars and battles can’t be won with brain-power alone, so therefore a physical presence would be necessary…which is where the immense Berserkers come in, with their four hearts, six powerful arms, and a penchant for beating people senseless for next to nothing (what could possibly go wrong?!) Well a lot, clearly, and so to counteract these rather dense behemoths, the miniature race of Claurichauns were also selected…with the idea that their cunning, plotting, and resilient nature would be helpful when dealing with the grumbles of the Berserkers. Finally the lizard race known as The Glycons and the ferocious 9-Tails were summoned, largely because they both possessed sheer numbers which would prove pivotal in vanquishing the legions of vitriolic creatures Typhon was likely to enlist. These choices still raised a lot of eyebrows, especially the choice of the latter for one reason in particular; they possess a biological necessity to feast on people’s kidneys in order to return to their none bestial form. So not ideal house-guests then.

Naturally this was a humongous burden on every person in the room – after all it wouldn’t be right to say “no thank you” to such things as power crystals and the dying wishes of a God now would it? But that doesn’t mean that they weren’t wishing none of this had ever came to be in the first place. If only they could have stopped it all before it had gotten to this point…

All critique is good. Even if it makes me cry. Thank you! 

Jehovah’s Witness Liar

Was approached by a very friendly young chap (Steven) the other day, who just so happened to be a Jehovah’s Witness with a rather exciting pamphlet on lying…and how it isn’t totally groovy so we should all just stop lying now to help save the planet. Or something. Anyway, just sharing the story and asking your view just as he asked me: “Is it possible to live in a world with no lies?” Hmmm…

To lie, or not to lie? That is the question…

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SNOWMEN ARE STUPID.

I have just realised this about snowmen and suddenly it is like The Matrix has opened up before my eyes – I have been living in a ridiculous fantasy land for far too long. And snowmen have to go. 

p.s. …I love snowmen really…unless they call me names of course, in which case they can fuck off and I will be scratching them off my Christmas card list.

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Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!

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