Everyday Awkward

Here’s your daily dose of silliness – but something that is seriously all too common in my daily routine…can anyone else relate to my top five everyday awkward moments?

1. Showing someone a video/song, and immediately making excuses for it:

Show GIF

This happens to me a lot…usually it is a “funny” video – or a song that I think no one in their right mind couldn’t love…only to be met with blank stares. “Errrr, just stick with it! Err…it gets good soon…huh…hmm…it isn’t that funny on second thought…sorry…sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Then your friend pretends it wasn’t that bad, and the awkward circle continues.

2. Holding the door open for someone, after miscalculating how far away they were:

Wait Door GIF

This was brought up on a recent post, but I think we can all agree that this one is a lurking MENACE. You are wandering along in your own world, you sort of realise someone is walking somewhere close behind you – naturally you hold open the door, only to look up, and see that they are A HUNDRED MILES AWAY!

Well, not exactly but it certainly feels like it. Again the awkwardness works on both sides, as you have to consider just letting the door close, and risking it slamming in their faces…or keeping it held open, and consequently forcing the stranger to quicken their pace, so that this horrible exchange can finally die. Urgh, how do we do away with this tradition?!

 3. Saying “nice to meet you”, during a phone call:

Awkward GIF

At least people can’t see your facial expressions on the phone…because if they could they would see my face curl into a URGHHHLLLLLDURGGG when I find myself dropping this absolute clanger. I usually attempt to clear it up, with an automatic compliment…like the following…honestly, it doesn’t really work ~

“Nice to meet you.. oh, err – you have lovely eyes – SHIT, no. Errr…can, can…can we just start all this again please? It’s my first phone call ever, so I am a little nervous.” 

– BEEEEEEEEP – Guess not. 

4. Answering back with “you too”, despite it not being applicable:

You Too GIF

This one can strike at any time – it seems to have a field day on birthdays though, you know like…“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” – “Oh, thanks, you too!” And then you have to stand there as a tumbleweed rolls on by. Or perhaps it’ll happen when dealing with restaurants ~ “Hope you enjoy your meal!” – “I will, thanks – you too.” ARGH! “

Why did you even think you could leave the house? Total lack of foresight on your part, I’m afraid! NEVER LEAVE YOUR CAVE, IT’S NOT SAFE!

5. Pushing a “pull” door, and pulling a “push” one:

Push Pull GIF

It’s fine when there’s no one around…well, sort of – you still get a deep burst of sadness, that pushes its way all the way down to your core, and makes you feel worthless. But, still – at least no one saw it, and was able to pass smirking judgement.

This seems to happen more regularly (by horrific coincidence), when I am trying to imitate a cool, movie actor type walkaway. Something like…“well, I best be going – you take care now…see you when I see you.” The turn was perfect, your eyes were piercing, and there was a slight swish to your coat tail as you spun away from the now enchanted individual.

Cut to you, clumsily wrestling with the door, and then having to look back at the person, and use a pathetic, grovelling ‘he-he-he” laugh before you finally make your actual exit.

So, yeah – life…it can be a struggle! Are there any more I have missed out? 

facebook.com/storytimewithjohn

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73 thoughts on “Everyday Awkward”

  7. I find receiving compliments to be rather awkward to begin with, but throw in an accidental “you too” into the mix…
    “Great job today!” (After performing, person was in the audience)
    “Thanks! You too!”
    Because they did a great job of watching. *Facepalm*

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    • Yeah, I guess it is – I do go red instantly if I ever get complimented, that and negate it in some way – guess it is some kind of socially awkward reflex. Not ideal, but never mind.

      That whole scene made me cringe, well played, haha! Oh the memories it brought back…

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  8. I have a hard time recognizing people I know–I think because I’m absent-minded. I sometimes walk past such people in public places, without acknowledging them. By the time I realize this, it’s too late to say anything, and then I wonder if they suspect I was snubbing them.

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    • hahaha, I have a friend like that – she SAYS the same thing…so you know, I think fair enough – but in the back of my mind, I am like…”is that true, or just a really great excuse for not wanting to stop, and chat? Hmm…”

      I am sure yours is innocent though 😉

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  9. Hi…I can relate to all except ‘nice to me you’ on the phone- haven’t done that yet! But am lol-ing thinking about it. Holding the door is my worst one. When it’s a women she’s always going ‘UGH PLEASE, AS IF’, in my head and I have to bomb away with my head down to demonstrate that I wasn’t coming on to her as soon as it’s done. Horrible!

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  10. Loved this post – it’s somewhat comforting that we’re all socially awkward. I am a victim of seeing someone you know in the street, and smiling and waving too prematurely, so you then have to prolong greeting them for about 30 feet until you actually are close enough, and then you have nothing left to say to them..

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    • Yeah, there’s that at least – I always think of myself as so clunky, and clumsy when it comes to social graces, even though I do try my best (honest!) people’s comments on this subject make me feel A LOT better though!

      And yes, the premature wave…walking towards each other, not exactly sure what to do with your face…do you look down – leer at them? Who knows?!

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  11. John, you’re hilarious! I can relate to all of the above, and although I repetitively feel awkward holding a door open for a person who is now pacing towards me to meet the courtesy, I will continue to hold them open. After all, what would the world be like without at least a little bit of chivalry? Cheers!

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    • Jack! Thanks a lot, man! 😀 I was seriously wondering, and hoping that all of these weren’t just me…was half-expecting to have people go, “err…what are you talking about? This must be just YOU.” Phew, the relief.

      p.s. You’re a gent, good sir! 🙂

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  13. Recently, I had a fight with a friend. The friend is around my age and we know each other for 10 years. It was about a video —- the trailer for avengers 2. I wanted to just show her the ambience. She is reticent to see anything with Thor in it. I then showed her the music of “I got no strings” and she was like ohhh generic music but has no qualms listening to K-pop. I realized maybe she doesn’t care about me much. and I realized this when I shared a video. So, sharing videos is a good thing at times even if it corresponds to your quirks. Maybe, it reveals more than the surface.

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  14. I relate to all of yours. Most assuredly the door one. I’ve actually walked into a door that was pull not push.

    I have a couple of my own

    having your kid randomly lick you in public (my grown daughters mind you). I’m left looking around to see if anyone noticed.

    during a photo shoot I notice the lens cap is still on after I’ve taken a good 30 shots

    the door chime on my car is broken. It always chimes saying “you left your keys behind loser” I just know people are looking and snickering.

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  15. You are definitely NOT alone with these! I relate to every single one of them… Although I have learned how to avoid the awkward “you too” moment. I just say, “Thank you,” and then resist the urge to respond with “you too.” Sometimes I have to literally clench my teeth and my fists, (causing some people to wonder if I hate compliments), but it seems to work… Most of the time. 😊

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  16. I originally wanted to say, ‘Ha, you are far more awkward than me,’ but the truth is, I have probably been guilty of all of these with the possible exception of 3, only because I don’t think ‘nice to meet you’ was the exact phrase but something equally uncomfortable.

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  18. Haha! I can relate to all of them minus the phone call. What happens to me far too often and has convinced me I have a brain damage is: I enter a room and the person receiving me is pointing to a chair saying “please, have a seat!”. Instead of sitting down, I go and grab his or her hand which is still pointing at the chair and shake it while saying “nice to meet you”. Then I realize the whole thing and feel really awkward. 🙂

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  19. Great post! I’ve had my share of awkward moments. Just saw a meme of one: looking frantically for my cell phone, and I tell the person on the phone that I can’t find it. Duh, it was in my left hand, held to my ear!!

    A friend posted on FB that she lifted the phone receiver to call someone and punched the number into the computer keyboard. DOH!

    And the classic: looking for your glasses when they’re on your head.

    But my favorite to re-enact, unwittingly, time and again: Using my work badge to try to get into my house. Or, alternately, holding my house key up to the badge reader at work. Spoiler alert: neither one works.

    Cheers!

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  20. How about someone who tries to kiss you and you don’t want to. I was hugging someone last night and I could just feel that he wanted to kiss me. He starts leaning in, and I tell him that the music is just SO good and that I want to dance. He looks very disappointed. Awkward as hell I can assure you

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  21. Oh, totally and absolutely no5. Double doors are my nemesis: a 3:1 ratio of being wrong (because obviously I never click the massive push/pull signs until it’s too late).
    I also used to work with someone who was blind. I can’t tell you how many times in a conversation I’d say, ‘yes, I see’!!! Awkwardness-Tourette’s, I tell us!

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  22. You cracked me up with this one, I have two that happens to me on more ocassions that I would want to. Have to work on some skills of mine. 1, the opening of the door for someone else miscalculating how far away they are and it is kind of awkward. Don´t know what to say, or to look them in the eye, just plain out weird. 2- push,pull doors. My mind can´t be in everything…..although at least is quite amusing for the people behind me.

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  23. “you have lovely eyes”! So funny! I do things like that all the time, and I can sadly admit to having done every one of these numerous times! With some its fun to turn it around and try and make it awkward for the other person too (in a perfectly innocent way) just for the mutual uncomfortable laughter that follows. But cheers to Awkward, that sneaky sonofabitch!

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  24. Hahaha!!

    OK, got one. You attempt to leave somewhere – a friend’s house or an unfamiliar office maybe – through the door as people do. You want to be able to do it all your Grown-up Self (“So long! I’ll just be going now. Thanks so much!”). So you approach the door and randomly start pressing buttons and switching latches while pulling on the knob. Chances are you’ve now successfully *locked* the door because you can’t get out. You stand there stupidly while the other person comes over and easily switches whatever and opens the door so you can make your shameful escape.

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  25. You definietly deserve each like. I found myself in all of the 5 points. But number 5 I guess should be placed as number 1. That happens all the time again and again and to everyone!

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  26. I hate the awkwardness… I am sure at least one of these happens to me every single day. I used to be able to get away with it without anyone noticing at least some of the time. Now I live in Japan and someone is always watching me. This amplifies the embarrassment like ten fold.

    “Look at the weird foreigner. Oh look he cant even open the door. Pull you moron! Oh, now hes trying to hold the door for that beautiful Japanese woman 30 feet away. This isn’t America! Go back where you came from….”
    FML

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  27. I miscalculate the amount of time it will take someone to reach a door on a regular basis. I’ve come to accept this, and now say (once they’re within hearing distance)”This is awkward, isn’t it?” The chuckles make the remaining time a bit more bearable. 🙂

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  29. Sarcasm is my enemy. I lack the ability to deliver a straight line properly and then I just look like an idiot and get corrected. I don’t try to explain. It’s easier to just let them think I’m an idiot. It’s quite accurate most of the time anyway.

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  31. The door happens to everyone, and even when it happens to me, it is funny each time. Lol. Another awkward moment is when someone in high heels is pounding the pavement so hard, they slightly stumble after missing a step. The way she tries to collect herself after the misstep is classic. She first looks around, fixes her clothing, raises her chin and continues onward.

    Another awkward moment is when a guy tries to shake my hand, yet I know from experience, he does not wash his hands after using the bathroom. Yeahhhh…better luck next time gross guy

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    • hahaha, yeah the unsteady, WHOAAAA moment…then brush it off, and carry on. Same when I slip over, or at least almost do…WHOA…then carry on. Someone usually there to catch me in the act though. Never just get away without any embarrassment! 😦

      People who don’t wash their hands…it’s like, come on…that’s class 101 stuff, haha!

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  32. All very good and very awkward! I would like to add one. Forgetting someone’s name THE INSTANT they tell it to you then having to introduce them to someone else. It’s 100 times worse if you’ve sort of known the person for a while because you’re waaay past the point of being able to just ask them, and you have to keep coming up with hopefully brilliant ways of avoiding their name.

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  34. Yes Michelle! That happens to me waaaay too much, and every time I think “gosh, they just told me their name, was it Anna? June?” And of course I’m totally wrong, or I’m right but too afraid to say it cus if it’s wrong, then what? 😳 and how about the times when you’re in a group of people and you are talking to some, and then they all stop listening, so you awkwardly stop talking in the middle of the story because no one’s listening anymore? I hate when that happens!
    And John, these are all spot on. Sadly. 😉 Great post!

    Emma

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  35. Not realising that shaking hands can also mean that you just greet, and not necessarily that you have not met before, so you don’t have to say your name again..

    Situation: sister’s birthday.
    Friend of sister comes over. Stretches hand.
    Me: ‘hi, I am potamotrygorgeous’
    She: ‘yes, I know, I am Lilah, we did meet before, don’t you remember?’
    Me (what i said): ‘ow, errrr…’
    Me (what i thought): ‘why do you come over then to introduce yourself again?

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  39. Number 3 and Number 4 reminded me of a few summers back. I was working at a hot dog stand during vacation and my job was the Pass the Hotdog to the Customer girl and I would constantly say, Have a nice day, enjoy your hot dog. Now after the summer, I was still in the same area, and someone who I didn’t know was walking up the steps as I was walking down. As soon as our eyes met without missing a beat I said HAVE A NICE DAY. My awkward greeting was met with a confused smile and silence. I was a very embarrassed Johnna.

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  40. This week, I tried to push open a door, but it was locked. Door stayed in one place, I kept moving and smashed my face into it. Got a blood blister on my lip! It was funny, though.

    The most awkward thing I struggle with is seeing someone I know in public. Do I stop and say hi? Call out to them? Or pretend to be deeply immersed in my cell phone and let them initiate social niceties? Then they either genuinely don’t notice me, or pretend not to as well.

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