Let’s Kick Cancer!

Hi friends! I thought it was a good idea to repost this video…as I now have the working links to purchase the book! Sounding like a broken record I’m sure, but all proceeds going to Macmillan Cancer Research! 

You can buy it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! 

If you can’t buy a book yourself, it’d be great if you share this post! In that way you can still make a difference by spreading the message! Thank you my friends, much love as always! 

www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn

www.youtube.com/storytimewithjohn101

The Awkward Oyster

Hi friends, honest opinion please on this potential cover…I really like it – but want to get other people’s eyes on it…

Awkward Oyster

Little background on this ~ my Grandma used to always say “the world’s your oyster!”, and would perpetually be so enthusiastic about my trips, and well…just about everything I ever did. So this is a little homage in a way. Sadly she lost her fight with cancer – but the Macmillan nurses (to which the proceeds of the book will go to) were always an amazing help.

I’m still trying to format the thing! It’s coming soon…

www.facebook.coms/storytimewithjohn

www.youtube.com/storytimewithjohn101

Awkward Introduction

Trying to come up with a decent/stupid introduction for the upcoming collection…how does this sound? I know it’s silly, but still…

The Awkward Introduction:

Hello. Hi…hiya? No, hiya is definitely a bit too much. Hello! If it’s alright with you, then I will make this brief. Because I do feel quite strongly that I am making somewhat of a buffoon of myself in this introduction…I would have loved to have just leapt straight into the travel tales, and skipped past all of this. But then you may have been all; “who even is this guy? And why is he so rude a bastard, that he doesn’t even say hello – or introduce himself?! He is well and truly off the Christmas card list!”

Well point taken. Albeit from an imagined, and probably a lot scarier version of yourself.

My name is John. John Lee Taggart. And although that may be a little reminiscent of the classic James Bond line, I couldn’t be further from the character himself. Well I could. I mean I do have a face, and hands, and legs, and other matching body parts – but I mean to say, I am no action hero, or suave lady-killer. Or bad-guy killer. Actually I don’t even kill flies, I’m pathetic…or nice, depending on your outlook.

Profile

What I do like to do though, is live life – and laugh at things. Both are pretty much involuntary, but I enjoy that they happen all the same. So on that note here are a little collection of travel tales from The Global Fool himself – little old me.

I hope you enjoy them. Please don’t throw stones if you don’t. (That’s not a metaphor – I mean like literal stones – they hurt a lot.)

Yours…sincerely? Faithfully? Errr…I never really know…so erm. Bye!

Love John

Also…what’s the deal with Amazon, and charity – as in, is there an option for the profits to go to a charity, or would I have to take it, and give it myself? Is that a stupid question? Errr…you see, as the stories will literally just be a collection of selected ones from the site, I feel it would be nice for it to go to a good cause. Not that I don’t like money, but still.

www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn

www.youtube.com/storytimewithjohn101

Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!

Inter-phew

Perhaps you remember me blabbing* on about the possibility of a comic strip, based on Storytime with John? You see I’d met with a Korean publishing company that had came up with the idea…each episode would be a typical tale of a foreigner encountering cultural differences and weirdness….well…about that…it’s not happening – at least for the time-being. 

Willy Nothing GIF

A little infuriating as I had written out over twenty episodes already…and just had to sit there and take it, as they were effectively flushed down the toilet. I say “a little infuriating”, but I really mean “gut wrenchingly, eyes-popping out, crazed beast rage”. 

Instead, I was asked to come up with some ideas for a brand new comic…“I want a crazy Spongebob – anything goes world!” were the words he used, as he sent me on my way and closed the door. Now I had no idea what that meant, but I gave it a shot all the same! I wanted it to be a universally loved creation – It seems that Spongebob is one of those figures who people either adore, or despise – like a Justin Bieber, but in cartoon form, living in a pineapple, under the sea…okay, so there is only a vague similarity…they both wear pants, let’s leave it there.

But I wanted my creation to be love-able in every which way! Any piece of writing I do, anything I construct – I never want anyone to say “I fucking HATE this!” Maybe they end up hating it…but that is another story! So I came up with four separate stories that I would offer to him, so he could pick the one he liked most (or hated the least!) I am sure they will sound so dreadful when I explain them – BUT THEY ARE MY BABIES SO DON’T SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY BABIES!

GET OUT GIF

The first one was about a monkey test pilot called Morgan, who crash lands on the moon, and is then taken in by the alien population who live there…the second was about a futuristic world in which dolphins now rule on the land, the third was about a Dream School where every monster goes to train to be in our dreams or nightmares, and the fourth was based around a microcosm empire living under a kid’s messy bed. Phew

Just picture me, sat in a CEO’s office, suited up, and sweating – rambling my explanations, and descriptions in the same manner as I have just spoken them to you…checking his reaction, paying attention to his furrowed brow, and his unflinching stare. I sounded STUPID. This had all seemed like a good idea, I had sat and constructed these creatures, their worlds, decided what foods they loved, and ones they hated – I was a special guest in each of their lives…but I still couldn’t make them sound even vaguely interesting when trying to explain aloud.

“So that’s…those…those are the ideas I had. Sorry, I was…”

“I like one, and four – so let’s go with those. Everyone likes a monkey, we can get that set up late this year – the bed monsters…February 2015?” 

He made some calls, as I sat there trying to look professional, and not like someone had whispered into my ear “psssst, you have won the lottery, but you can only collect it if you keep a straight face!” I was ecstatic. I mean…it was craziness. Is this what the adult world is? Just dressing up in suits, and talking about cartoons? Apparently so.

Adult GIF

Anyway, due to have some meetings soon to take things forward. He has flown to Hollywood for some work, when he told me my automatic reaction was “ooooooohhh la-la!” which I honestly wish I could retract, but never mind, what’s done is done. This is slowing things down though, but he said he will send me some early sketches the artist has drawn up, sometime soon. When I get them, you get them! 

In other news, I am heading back to the UK for Christmas (WOOOOO! FIRST TIME IN THREE YEARS!) and I have accepted an afternoon job starting January, at an English academy close to Gangnam, Seoul – reason being I can’t rely entirely on Mr. Hollywood, and have to pay those bills! Unless…anyone wants to be my mysterious benefactor? I do have Great Expectations after all!

Woody GIF

Oh, and thanks to writerinsoul for reminding me to update you all on this!*

Question-time with John!

Hello there friends of the WordPress world! So just yesterday I asked for questions from you guys for this Q&A post, and you well and truly delivered!

Thank you GIF

Here are 25 of the best questions (in no particular order); the variation says a lot about how weird and/or wonderful you lot are! ~ oh, and sorry if you didn’t make the cut…I had to stop somewhere… ~I still love you, you know that right? RIGHT?! Please don’t leave me…

Continue reading “Question-time with John!”