When MERS Attacks!

My boss sent me a rather rushed message last night regarding my work for the next day, the gist of which was; no school tomorrow. Please stay home. 

Sounds Good GIF

This is because South Korea is on high alert at the moment, especially in my close area, due to the recent outbreak of the MERS virus*This is pronounced like “Merris” for some reason, which to me sounds like a sweet old grandmother who bakes cakes, and sucks on extra strong mints in her spare time – but the reality couldn’t be further from that. It’s actually pretty serious, or at least that’s what I’ve been told…

Little is known about it other than that it is thought to have started in Saudi Arabia…possibly something to do with camels. Never did like camels – all that spitting always struck me as insanitary. I’m not quite sure how it all works, but I imagine the camel spat in someone’s eye, and then that guy licked someone, and so on, and so on…in time the camel had enough of being judged so took a flight to Korea, naturally one thing led to another and now…MERS virus panic in SK!

Freaking Out GIF

What does that mean for me? Well, I am forced to have the day off (BOOO HOOO, I’m crying a river over that one), and when I go out I am recommended to wear a face mask in case someone sneezes directly into my mouth at some point. It makes me look like a bit of a ninja, especially with sunglasses it just feels like a rather shit halloween costume…so I’m opting out of that. Instead I’ll just try my best not to kiss any camels should they start to flirt with me.

Wish me luck… 

*Jokes aside, here is a link to a more credible source for information regarding the MERS virus, should go without saying that I urge everyone in the proximity to be careful – and should you spot any symptoms seek medical attention IMMEDIATELY. 

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Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!

Mixed Messages

You can’t win em all…

MIxed Messages

Play good music at my funeral, and have a few drinks in my honor. That’s all I ask.

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Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!

I’M NOT A PAEDOPHILE.

I have a confession to make that may actually surprise a few people…I’m…not…a paedophile. Phew, kinda nice to get that one off my chest! It’s been eating away at me for ages!

Relief GIF

Continue reading “I’M NOT A PAEDOPHILE.”

Back to Bogies

This is the first of hopefully many new YouTube story videos – it’s a little resolution of mine to branch out, and try a new format…I hope you enjoy it, let me know either way – as it is a big learning process for me! 

In this video I’m talking about my new kindergarten class, and the struggles that have came with it so far!

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Korean Kung-Fu Fighting

Oh my goodness! Look what I just found! I’d forgotten there was video!

p.s. just a little side note – the reason I am moving so robotically, is that my boob piece thing was about to pop out, and my various weaponry was also threatening to fall out of my belt – so it was my little way of trying to minimize movement…urgh…the struggles of a performer, ey? 

p.p.s. Don’t mess with Korean kids, I think that much is clear! 

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똥침 (“Poop-Needle”)

There are always pros and cons to every big decision in life…and if you are a level-headed (ish) kind of person like me, it is best to think things over before jumping into something big. Like moving abroad for example, you do your research and find some other people’s thoughts on the place – they might mention that the country is rich in culture and historic tradition (oooh, interesting!), but also add that there is some negative bias from the older generation against foreigners (oooh, who cares?)…but nowhere in my research of South Korea did I find any reference to the horrific craze among Korean children that is, the “dong-chim” (똥침)

Continue reading “똥침 (“Poop-Needle”)”