Life changing email!

Usually checking your emails is a pretty routine boring task, you hope there will be something special there, but usually it is just some clickbait spam, or buy one get one free Groupon deals, and in my case a bunch of WordPress awaiting moderation emails. So not anything too exciting then.

Then something like this comes along…and your life will never be the same again…

Spam

Some people say that the truth is stranger than fiction, I think that the plight of my new good friend proves that to be a fact! I certainly feel sorry for her, after all she just wants to live out her last few days in peace, but the Holy Spirit keeps bugging her to give a total unknown person 25% of $3,367,223! What a strange request, but God moves in mysterious ways I have been told. I wonder what I will do with…just run to get my calculator…erm…$841,805.75! I would probably give some to charity, but with 75% ($2,525,417.25) already going to cancer research and other charity organizations I feel my conscience is clear there…so instead I am thinking I will become a lord of leisure…get a lovely manor house in the country…or perhaps take my whole family on a round the world trip…or…open up a Willy Wonka style chocolate factory, complete with a chocolate river. People would be welcome to come in so long as they didn’t sneak off away from the tour or try and steal all of my new secret formulas. Oh, and no playing with the Oompa Loompas.

I hope Naomi lives long enough to hear the song me and the guys put together…

“Oompa loompa doompety doo,
I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you,
Oompa loompa doompety dee,
If you are wise you’ll listen to me!

What do you get when you spam email John T?
You get a sarcastic blog post – possibly three!
Are you in hospital? Or an island in Greece?
You’d have to be dumb – to think you could fool me!

I just don’t like the look of it…

Oompa loompa doompety da,
If you’re not greedy, you will go far!
You will live in happiness too,
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do,
Doompety do!”

With all that said, get well soon Naomi, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Like this story? Then why not like the Facebook page? http://www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE!

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51 thoughts on “Life changing email!

  1. I have sooooo many relatives (allegedly) in Nigeria that have needed my bank details to kindly donate money to me. Or just $500 from me to help them transfer the funds. When I send emails stating they can just take the $500 from my portion, I never hear from them again.

    Sorry you won’t be cashing a big cheque anytime soon.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I once had a spam email that was very close to the bone. It said that my cousin Mark had been killed in a car crash and there was money etc etc. It gave me more than pause for thought because I do have a cousin Mark with my surname and, at the time, he was somewhere in Africa or similar. It was a horribly unpleasant experience.

    Like

  3. If we would cash in on every of these emails we would be stinking rich!
    I love youre oompa loompa song! Hilarious!!

    Like

  4. I really did enjoy your post and like your song so what I am going to ask you is totally beside the point of what you wrote about – do you really have 26 546 emails in your inbox? That is amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I do love the original Oompa-Loompas they were so awesome. I am one of the few people that love when others are walking around with a tangerine or orange traffic cone tan because it makes me sing the Oompa-Loompa songs in my head… always brings a smile to my face so tan away peoples πŸ™‚

    Like

      • Hahaha I am glad to have spread my habits to others πŸ™‚ As long as you don’t take to tanning yourself so you can dress as an Ooompa-Loompa and dance and sing in the town centre I think you are going to be ok πŸ™‚

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      • That sounds very distinguished πŸ™‚
        And why not? Considering some of the other things that have been in fashion this seems totally acceptable to me. I just learned the colour citrus (somewhere between Fluor green and yellow) is back in fashion, not for me it’s not πŸ™‚

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    • Oh of course Melanie! I mean Johnny Depp is naturally one of my fave actors…but you can’t top the original, I wish they hadn’t even tried…as with most of these remakes.

      Oh, and yeah they sure are! πŸ˜€

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  6. “Kofia Annan” (former Secretary-General of the UN) once sent me an email claiming he had $750,000 waiting for me, but all I needed to do was to give him my bank details so that he could wire it to me.

    Uh huh.

    Like

  7. I love the comments I get on my blog about how excellent my argument was and how it gave them much to ponder. Argument? It is a blog about sewing and costumes! To who and about what am I arguing? Then they link me to a porn site (likely virus infested). The fact that it continues, implies that some idiot is falling for it somewhere.

    Like

  8. Willy Wanka style?haha.

    Hey at least the aggravating email brought out the new Shakespeare in town. That was some mean cool way too cool to go to school type of poetry. Show that to the kid you where teaching, IΒ΄m sure theyΒ΄ll be giggling like a little kid(what an oxymoron) just like me right now.

    Like

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