I AM A TIME LORD!

Time Travel

So recently the community manager for Dollar Shave Club, a fun new razor subscription service, emailed me with a rather vague question…just how do I shave time and money off tedious parts of my schedule every day? Well as regular readers will already be aware, I am like a well-oiled machine when it comes to schedules – a Mrs. Trunchbull type when it comes to travel plans! That is why nothing ever goes wrong, and I never have any hapless stories of misfortune to share with you all…

Awkward tumbleweed rolls by…

Anyway, with that said, I did think of a couple of pointers I could give you guys – there’s the obvious: which is NEVER to change currency at the terminal! Either do it beforehand, or wait until you get into the city for a more favorable exchange rate, (they quite literally pull your eyes out and slap you with them at the airport!) If you must, then only change a small amount, enough for the taxi ride to the hotel perhaps, and maybe a sandwich, oh and a coffee, oh and a…yeah, errr, I never really follow my own advice.

I did read somewhere that if you are looking for last minute cheap flights, then Tuesday afternoon is the best time for it – something about busy business guy types cancelling last minute – so the airline just wants to get bums on seats rather than completely missing out on money! Makes sense. So take advantage of this!

I also heard that online flight booking sites are absolute cookie monsters…as in they take all your cookies and refuse to share them, even if you start crying and tell your Mammy – they couldn’t care less, or something along those lines…no, wait, that’s not right. I actually don’t think it has anything to do with Sesame Street…oh…ah yes, I remember! So they store all the information about you, so that when you return they give you a more expensive flight than you would have got as a first time user! Pffft, that’s gratitude for ya! To get around this is relatively simple though; remove cookies, or go incognito on Chrome and you should be good to go! This is probably true for their respective apps, which is a major bummer as they do make things a lot more convenient!

Maybe I will write them a disgruntled note…

Dear Skyscammer,
Give me back my cookies, I am starving over here! I don’t think it is fair in the slightest, you will be off my Christmas card list if you continue in this manner! You can have your cookies and I can have mine, keep your greedy paws off my chocolate chips.
Yours sincerely,
John (pissed off, and still vaguely confused customer)

With all that said, I actually think the most impressive way in which I shave time is this…shhh…it’s actually a secret…but, well. I time travel. YES, LIKE DOCTOR WHO! Well, kind of. I mean…okay, granted I am not a time lord, and instead of a tardis more often than not I have an economy flight on a sweaty plane…but still, it’s basically the same thing.

I TRAVEL THROUGH TIME WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT?!?!?!

Here’s an example from the present day: I am set to leave Nepal at 9:00am(ish) on the 16th and will spend 16 amount of hours getting to England, but will still arrive at only 21:00pm(ish) on the same day! So why am I not getting a hit TV show and action figurines made in my likeness?

Well probably because the jet lag knocks me for two days afterwards…I have been known to fall asleep in the bath, in my soup, or whilst walking up the stairs…and I always tend to have dark teabag sized pouches under my eyes for a week after the ordeal…no kid would want to play with that toy.

Now that I think of it, this probably shaves time off my life…as in I will not live to see the later years…hmm, shame. I was looking forward to a diet of Werther’s Originals…and attaching balloons to my house – so I could forgo dealing with the horrid airport situation.

So okay, I’m not much help. But what about you? Any pearls of wisdom?

Like this story? Then why not like the Facebook page? http://www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE!

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46 thoughts on “I AM A TIME LORD!

  1. Agree never change at the terminal. In fact on the rare occasions when I do travel, I use my debit card at the ATM’s in the country, no fees for doing so, now shaving time? Hmm I don’t have any tips, jet lag, try to keep to current time where you land, don’t go to sleep, even if your eyes are cherry saucers. I think the only and best way to travel by plane is in 1st class or hell even business class..but I can only dream.

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    • If you have a debit card with no international fees then you’re sorted! I ALWAYS forget to tell my bank and end up incurring fees, I’ll remember next time…well…maybe…

      Oh and I try! I swear I do! But that’s why I fall asleep in precarious situations! One time my sister was cutting my hair and I fell asleep during! Was a close shave!

      I too dream of first class…one day…one day…

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  2. I try not to sleep before a flight, and sleep on the plane if I’m landing in the morning. If I land at night, I do not sleep on the plane at all. I watch a million movies or read for the whole flight. That way my body and mind are exhausted for when I land and I can go to sleep. I have never really had jet lag by doing this. But it might work differently for others. Money wise, I use a travel card loaded with multiple currencies and get money out at ATM’s if I need it. You should shop around for the best rates on travel cards, mine charges next to nothing to use or reload. Its so easy to use I love it, I just go online and can move money from my accounts to my card.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ahhhh man, I try to do that EVERY time when it comes to long hauls…I wish I could just close my eyes and then WHOOSH I’m there. Instead I can never ever sleep! End up watching three really bad films in a row…woeful. I envy you!

      I’ve had travel cards in the past, worked great for me in Greece (there was a high chance of my losing it and there was some form of guarantee that came with it!)

      You sound like you have your head screwed on…oh my God, my Dad says that…what have I become? !?! But yes, wise words 🙂

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  3. I start prepping days before I leave to get myself on the time schedule for the destination. I figure out how many hours I’m going to be ahead or behind when I arrive and that’s how many days ahead I begin my prep….go to bed one hour earlier each night for each day of the prep and by the time you arrive there you’ll be close to on their schedule. Has worked well for me so far, but I’ve always had alot of notice before my trips too…….

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    • Man, now THAT is what I call being organized! I wish I could get to that level, maybe one day! Although yeah, sometimes my trips are last minute and there isn’t much time for schedules!

      I think the rest time is a great bit of advice!

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  4. You definitly need some psychich paper to get your own tv show 😉
    Hey you should visit the Doctor Who experience in Cardiff! Maybe you’ll be able to find the Doctor’s secret to timetravelling without a jetlag?
    Can’t wait for the Doctor to come back next month ;-))

    But seriously, like other people have suggested, try to prepare before you leave, either stay awake all night the night before you leave or try to go to bed one hour early or later a few days before you leave (depending on where you go). Some say melatonin helps. I used it when I got back from Australia. I must say, it helped..still was jetlagged but I felt less crappy.

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    • Are you offering? haha! But hmm, melatonin…hmm may have to try this, I always thought that perhaps I should just take sleeping pills or get someone to hit me on the head before take off so I can just slumber through the whole ordeal…not sure it works like that though…

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  5. I have actually always thought that if you could fly around the world enough times it would take you back in time. You’d still be getting older but the world would be getting younger. Can’t wait to try it.

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  6. Apparently if you fly out into deep space for 10 years you come back 5 years younger than if you’d stayed on Earth. I’ve no idea how that works, but I can see it being used by ‘resting’ actresses in years to come.

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  7. Shaving time and money from your schedule?
    I have kids, this should make me an expert, right? Right? yeah, lmao.
    Eat before you leave for the airport and take stuff along that will be finished before you get on the flight since you’ll still have two or three hours before your flight is supposed to leave. This way you’re not stuck with crappy airline food or have to pay for it on some airlines. Stay AWAY from the caffeine. Yes, I know the theory is it will keep you awake and make you go to the bathroom but guess what? Water will wake you up more effectively than anything with caffeine in it will and water is generally cheaper and is most definitely healthier for you plus, a bonus, with the higher altitudes attained during flight our bodies can become dehydrated so drinking water can actually help alleviate that.
    The air in an air plane is dry so the higher you go and the longer you fly the more dehydrated you will become, makes sense, right?
    http://goo.gl/3bwPtJ will explain this more effectively than I can.
    Take things along to help keep you from being bored, to keep the brain active. Cards, hand held games (if the airline allows them), pen and paper, a book or ebook, actual work so you can maximize your time, SOMETHING to keep your brain from realizing it should maybe be asleep.
    Years ago, when I was still a teen, my parents imparted some sage advice since we were frequent travelers between Canada and the US: use your own bank for currency conversion. You will get a better rate. Also, at the time traveler’s cheques were all the rage and it is easier to report them stolen and have them replaced.
    When at all possible when traveling put large purchases on a credit card since some of them have automatic insurance so if it gets broken, lost, stolen, etc. you can report it and the payment will be stopped or reversed so you don’t have to continue making the payment when you no longer have the item.
    Cross border travel: have your passport, visa, immigration papers etc. ready when you get to the officer and, for heavens sake, don’t stutter or sound nervous because that will bring on their curiosity more swiftly than anything else
    I think that’s it for now. I’m not overly familiar with post 9/11 air travel but this should help some.

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  8. I should have added that one of the signs, for me, that I’m dehydrated is that I get sleepy at times when it is not normal for me which means I better be heading for the closest water fountain and filling a 20 oz bottle.

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  9. That was actually a good pointer, didn´t have a clue about the currency exchange.

    Dollar shave club, Cassie Jasoo, ha ha, Jesus where do you get these names….
    So back to good old England on the 23rd of next month, let´s hope you keep writing some stories. If it hasn´t popped up in your head yet, if you put all these together in a somewhat linear form, I´m sure you got a book deal. I´ll read it just for the morning laughs. Or I can make some people who suffer from depression read it and out goes the depression. We could be on to something here, curing depression John style. Actually that´s a pretty good title.

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    • Thanks Charly, I’m certainly considering it ~ I am not sure depressed people should read I think some of my craziness may push them over the edge! 😉

      Although…great title…I suppose I’ll have to put you in the producer credits when it comes to it. Expect a check in the mail!

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  10. ME AND MY SISTER WENT MAD ON AIRPLANES TODAY, NOW THAT I HAVE SOME GOOD ADVICE, I CAN GO RIDE ONE! 😀
    Plus, thanks about the Skyscanner tips! I’ll show my aunt this, who wants to go to Barcelona. ;D

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  11. DOCTOR WHO!!! Are you a part of that beautiful fandom too? Can we for real be best friends? Are you all caught up on all the seasons? Who’s your favorite doctor? Who’s your favorite companion? Who’s your favorite bad guy?
    (forgive my outburst….)

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    • I enjoyed the David Tennant seasons massively, he had it all ~ the right level of suave, and casual sarcasm and it didn’t ever feel forced or over the top! Class act!
      I always remember when my Dad made my little brother’s friend burst into tears…he put a toilet plunger on his head and started screaming “I AM A DALEKKKKK”…I guess that was the start of my love affair.

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      • I can’t stop laughing…your dad sounds amazing!!
        And I agree, David Tennant is THE Doctor and hands down my favorite. I also cried the most during his seasons. But I did enjoy the Matt Smith episodes; Matt is so adorkable and quirky!
        Oh, and thank you for the travel tips! (I didn’t just get Doctor Who out of this post..) I’d heard the one about travel sites saving cookies, I’ll remember that one the next time I book a flight.
        Hope you’re having an awesome week so far!

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      • Adorkable hahaha, great expression! But yeah trust me it was beyond awkward…he had to call up the parents and explain why they had to pick up their wailing child…tough one to tell I imagine!

        I just got back to the UK for a visit, so loving this week. Hope you’re well!

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Ohh yeah please tell!
    Fav doctor, fav companion and bad guy…
    Hey and how about the new doctor?
    Please tell tell tell 😉

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  13. David Tennant! Woohoo! Glad to meet other Dr. Who fans. John, you sure have a unique voice in storytelling and I am intrigued. Looking forward to reading more of your stories. Safe travels!

    Like

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