“All Grown Up.”

I hate the expression “grown-up.”  There’s just something about it that is so depressingly final. I don’t mean to say that I want to live a completely infantalized  life*, I am merely trying to suggest that the idea of being a “grown up” is a lazy slump…in fact it is more than that, I would suggest it is a totally flawed concept altogether.

(Please note: I lied there…I would love to be a child forever, unfortunately it just isn’t biologically possible – as soon as such a procedure is available I will set up a Kickstarter campaign, and I expect your full support.)

Billy Maddison Shake GIF

So you are a grown up then…you grew all the way up – where is up though? What do you grow up to? Are you a fucking magical beanstalk? Have you grown all the way up to the clouds, and stopped there because you spotted the giant golden eggs?  I don’t get it!

Oooooh, but no, you’ve grown up – and that’s enough up you say, yes, – yes that’s enough up for one life you think to yourself…I can’t go up anymore, no please no more up, I have things to do – there is a giant here after all, and a castle on the clouds…it’s a lot to maintain – the dusting itself takes forever.

Oh shit, and look! A child has now burst into the mix! It scampered up your beanstalk body, and is now rifling through your possessions – looking for its cut of your golden eggs. Soon it will fall…all the way down…bye, byeTHUD. But it will grow, yes it will grow it’s own beanstalk. It will grow up – up – UP!

Then stop. It’s grown up after all – all the way up…no telling what is beyond the clouds…but…no, no – it was told it needed to grow up, and it has now grown up to a satisfactory height. It should stop there, it has things to do after all. 

Show me the money GIF

But why do we have this very final expression? It suggests that once we reach this rank we are all done; with nothing more to learn, no other ways in which we can blossom. And surely this isn’t true? Well of course it isn’t…you don’t stop growing, just because you stop growing physically…your mind wanders on, hungry – fucking starving in fact; for knowledge, for understanding,  and for enlightenment of some kind.

Instead, some people take it another way -and they choose to attribute the expression grown up, with children – as if it is a totally separate entity: we have the grown ups in one corner, and the children…the unfinished products, in the other. Sometimes a false peacemaker will come between the two – and suggest that the grown up, “says hello to their inner child”gimme a fucking break…you are not  playing the shitty parent role here, and this is not your unwanted child that you visit on the weekends you aren’t in prison – or say you will visit, and never show up…THIS IS YOU! There’s no tag given, no baton passed – and if there is, it is forced by sociological pressures in the form of expressions like “grown up”. 

We should grow up…but there shouldn’t be an end point in this life – the end point should only come in death. Then everyone can look at the huge, beautifully illustrious beanstalk, that stretched out high above the clouds and up to the stars, and stammer…”wowI sure hope my life reaches those heights someday, I am going to keep on growing. Let’s see what’s beyond these clouds.”

Peter Pan GIF

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59 thoughts on ““All Grown Up.”

  1. Wonderful post! You know I often think, when will I ever grow up…? I still feel like the discoverer of my life. I still encounter situations and feelings I don’t know. I still feel insecure in many things. Yes, I have more experience and more responsibility than years ago, but whenever I discover something new I feel like a child. And it is wonderful! If grown up means not to be surprised or astonished anymore, not to be scared and terryfied at times, always having an answer and no new things you can “grow” on, than I never want to grow up…… Honestly, this isn’t even possible. I don’t believe anyone that claims he is wise because he is grown up. We get older and more experienced, but growing up doesn’t mean that we have to lose our sense for discovering and exploring.We even can’t since life is a constant pusher of development. And if that state would be reached then – as you said – we would be dead. We are growing as long as we have this body. Love your post!

    Liked by 4 people

    • I often feel we are like two minds on most subjects, I always love to hear your view on things – always more errr…fair than my own 🙂 your outlook is what everyone should strive for!!!

      We should never stop learning and experiencing…my Grandfather one day (in his 70s perhaps?) said he wanted to get a laptop all of a sudden, hadn’t touched a computer in his life, and then he went out and got it…he was watching his favourite sports, he was typing emails (slowly haha), he was having a great time…then one day he says he wants to teach himself banjo using youtube videos as guides! So he puts them on and gets started, a few months later he was sounding like a pro. I was in awe.

      He is probably working away on something now. Just love that mentality of always being open to gaining knowledge.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Wow, your grandfather is a jewel and the living proof that we are never too old to start something new. I think having this in mind we would never become depressed. I love your post it is so inspiring and a support of increasing life’s quality. Thanks John!!!

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  2. Hopefully each one of us is a ‘growing-up’ rather than a grown-up. Maybe not even that: growing sideways, growing inwardly, just growing — with any luck– rather than shrinking mentally and physically. Though that’s part of living too.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Bravo! I expected a much more Peter-Pan approach but enjoyed your musings on the subject of growing up. I would have to say that there needs to be a healthy mix. I am quite “grown-up” because my checking account isn’t overdrawn and I don’t have to hide my reposessed car in the garage. However, I am also quite childish in that I stole boxes from someone bound to recycle them effectivly, and turned them into box-trolls just a day ago.
    I think the term “grow up” is used by people who are jealous of their own lack of childhood.
    Next time someone tells you to grow-up, retort back a mature “you’re not the boss of me”. Unless, of course, they are…
    Thanks for sharing,
    Savannah Smiles

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    • haha, you speak a lot of truth there! That’s for sure! I do often feel the whole “grow up” thing is used when people are having fun, or just living freely, it’s a little stupid really. No one has ever told me to grow up that I can remember, I am largely respectful (hopefully), and don’t require assistance from anyone – this idea just popped into my head…like am I a grown up? No…no I don’t think I am, I display some characteristics…but I’m not done yet!

      I think you have the right idea, keep being you 🙂

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  4. Great post! I had never thought of children as ‘unfinished products’, an expression I will adopt from now on every time I see a child around -and which will make me smile and people worried and wondering about what I’m thinking. 🙂

    As for grown up, I think I’d rather go for growing up.

    A few days ago I read an interview about what makes people happy. Part of the interview was how people don’t realize that they will change. To cut a long story short, they asked some 18 year-olds whether they thought they would change in the next 10 years. They said no. They asked some 28 year-olds whether they thought they had changed in the last 10 years. They said yes. The researchers did the test between 58 and 68 year-olds. The same results. Which shows that although we don’t expect to change, we actually do. Constantly. Even when we are older and ‘grown ups’. So we are constantly growing up. By the time we have grown up, we are probably dead.

    I enjoyed your post and your writing, keep posting!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Interesting Nicholas! Thanks for sharing that! I read something recently about how looking forward we can’t really see our path, and how things will change…it is hidden, but if you look back you see all of the stepping stones, all the dots that line up that have taken you so far. It would be odd to think that we “grow up” and then that is the end of the line! Of course it isn’t true!

      Growing up sounds good, not grown up 😀

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Another great post. Grown up, growing up. Nope, not for me. I think I now prefer the term “adding experiences”. Yeah, that’ll do this “grown up” nicely, thank you very much.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. haha, I agree. I often find that children have a much better view on life than most adults.

    It’s as though when you become ‘grown up’ you become blinded by bullshit and stop noticing what all the kids noticing. Stop looking for answers and start giving answers instead. Damien Marley said it nicely:

    ‘The average man can’t prove of most of the things that he chooses to speak of’

    And that’s exactly what seems to happen when people grow up. They become very opinionated and have lots of answers they ‘know’ are right, and they are completely oblivious that 95% of it is bullshit.

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  7. I am completely grown-up, a silver-back with genitals trailing in the dust. Sometimes even the little monkeys stamp about, call their monkey chums in the mistaken belief they have unearthed a couple of tasty brazils. Yet I have no complaints with junior, as carefully I assume the heights, swiping only an occasional brat from the branches for my pleasure. I watch the little fellow below, a tiny face distorted in the grimace, ‘no nuts now you bugger,’ I say this under my breath, wave a fist in greeting and watch as his awaits his fate in the jaws of a snake or a tiger. I can do nothing. He dies horribly, and what shall I say to his mothers? Nothing. These days I can only growl, signal contentment via my arse. You , my young tinker have it all before you, an entire plain of writhing and rafting in New Zealand, if only I had such energy. Awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I”m 50 and supposedly grown up. But I am not and don’t plan to ever be. They may mock me for “not knowing what I want to be when I grow up” but I know… I am always moving forward, learning more, experiencing more. Love this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hah! I love this post! Completely agree with it – I am and always will be flipping between immature fifteen year old and cynical eighty year old. The bits in the middle just aren’t fun 🙂

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  10. It doesn’t matter how our experiences change us, the inner child never leaves. We were that before anything else, after all. And, in fact, we are obligated to nurture and care for “it.” Nice post, John, keep up the good work!

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  11. I prefer the term ‘Growing up’ really. Like you said, grown up just seems so final. It’s funny because when I was younger I would look up to my sister who was in her 20’s at the time and think ‘Can’t wait to be all grown up!!’ and now that I am in my 20’s, I’m like ‘nope..nope, still got growing up to do’ so yeah, we’re always going to be works-in-progress, aren’t we.
    Great post as always.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I can totally see myself shaking some heads like this! to be clear when I hear grown up , it means being responsable for my acts, learning from my mistakes, taking care of myself because duhh am not a kid anymore! I know some people who act like they don’t care about what will happen if they just act blindly and impulsivly! you’ve got your own brain , job, flat so why do some people still depend on others to do for them the smallest things, and act like babies pretending they don’t know and they’re still young learning, the thing is that they do know how but they’re too lazy to do it or too irresponsable to face their acts !

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  13. This reminds me when I was much younger everytime we come to visit a relative or vice versa, always I hear the word “oh my god, you have grown up so big” which makes me proud for a while but the next time i hated it, what do they expect to happen to me. But now I find myself doing the same thing done to me. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. i play charades with my inner child everyday..it keeps me from forgetting that life is a classroom that always has a lesson and frikkin homework. I am and will always be a toys r us kid. 😉 … this was a great post thanks for sharing

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  15. John,
    Many years ago my father-in-law told me that his mind was 20 years younger than his body. I didn’t understand and thought it an odd concept. Here’s the thing; he was right. I couldn’t see it until I was older. I’m not lazy or fully grown-up and my mind swirls with fanciful memories from youth daily. Perhaps that is what keeps some of us feeling mindfully younger than our bodies. Just remember to enjoy the journey through your adult years.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What a lovely thought! It makes me think of those who go out and do something they’ve always wanted to…I don’t know, buy a sports car, go travelling, or…well the list is endless ~ but then they are classed as having a mid life crisis! Oh yes,what a crisis ~ they are finally doing something they love and have loved since they were a child! Someone call the authorities!!!!

      Anyway, haha…you are right in calling it a journey, and I shall try to enjoy every bit ~ thanks again 🙂

      Like

  16. This spoke to my soul, I’ve always despised the term “grown-up” and love the way you expressed that we should always be “growing-up”. Example being, when I was a kid, I thought that 20 year olds were the coolest and most grown up people in the whole word….and then when I got to 20, I realized that I didn’t know shit about anything! There’s this tendency I have to feel inadequate when faced with grownup stuff and I’ve had to learn that I don’t have to know everything, it’s freeing.
    Thanks for writing this, this subject is something I think about a lot but never know how to express. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly, I’m glad you can relate! It’s something that is often on my mind. I have this memory from when I was a very young kid…one of my “grown up” cousins,although he must have been early to mid twenties, sharpened my pencil with a knife as I had broken my pencil sharpener…he told me not to tell Grandma as it was big boy stuff. I remember being in total awe…he had it all together, he was there! How little I knew, haha! It’s great when you achieve a new perspective on things 🙂 it is freeing for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. YES, THIS IS A PARODY OF ME IF I GROW UP (which has maybe happened)
    I AM PEACEFULLY DRAWING AS A FIVE YEAR OLD WHEN MOTHER STORMS INTO ROOM
    Mother: It’s time to clear away all these PENCILS and PENS and CRAYONS and start drawing with FOUNTAIN PEN!
    THROWS FOUNTAIN PEN AT WALL
    Me: NOOO! ;_;

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Wonderful post as always John. Filled with humor, honesty, and gets to the nitty gritty of things. I don’t think there’s ever a point where we stop growing, and I don’t think anyone should ever hope for that! There’s always something we can improve or learn. Hope you are having a wonderful day, let us know when you have that kick start campaign going 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know some people, sure you do too – that are/were so desperate to “grow up” as if it was a real thing, not an illusory notion! Strange. I don’t ever want to stop learning, or stop growing – pfft, the second I do you are more than welcome to shoot me in the head as I will have stopped living!

      I am glad you will support the groundbreaking surgery 😉

      Like

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