“Delusions of Grandeur” *(Excerpt I)*


You’re all lovely people, so I am sure you will be full of words of encouragement, and whatnot – which is nice, but I can’t see how I am going to fit all of these pieces together…I am at 12,000 words now…not bad, huh? But the problem is I keep seeing it like a MOVIE in my head, not a novel…as in, I am picturing the big twist/reveal, in a very visual way…but it will take true skill (which I am lacking I feel) to make this gradually apparent. Authors out there, how…SERIOUSLY…HOW….HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THIS?! Maybe I shouldn’t be going with such a crazy plot, that would certainly help.

Complicated GIF

Anyway, here’s a short excerpt, where my central character is hoping to meet up with someone who will shed more light on what is happening to him…

“As I blindly wheel myself around the corner I squint at my watch: 12:07. My desperation to meet him, far surpasses my need for petty breaths; but my legs feel like they may not be able to carry me any further…they’re weakened by a mixture of exhaustion, and groggy perspiration – but I mustn’t stop, I have to keep going. So I flit through the crowds in a zigzag motion, feeling like a pin-ball as I continually barge from right to left, to left to right.

As I shove past the Jesus man a stitch creeps into my lower abdomen, stabbing away in a ferocious flurry, punishing me for my urgency, sending a piercing shock-wave through my stomach, forcing my footsteps to stutter as I clutch a lump of flab through my shirt. As I slow down, the pain eases slightly.

I am fighting for air, but I will myself on – forcing my body to push past the agony…but as I lumber into another street, I nearly crash with a mound of man. He stands there stationary without a care in the world, puffing on a cheap cigarette, and relaying a story to the voice in his ear. His immense shoulders create a blockade of which I see no way around. He laughs, something about his mate, and he “couldn’t fucking believe it.”

Errrr, erm, excuse me.”


I do not offer a reply, instead I simply barge past the opening he has now made, slipping out to my freedom, hoping he is not giving any form of chase to my frail, worn out body. 

Free from that monster I nip into a side street for the sake of a few precious seconds, but I’m greeted by a sea of shuffling bodies, aimlessly scuttling across the cobbles at a faltering speed, their dreary eyes fixed to the ankles in front of them. 12:09. I try to squirm my way free from this horrendous bottleneck but my efforts are in vain. I am reduced to one of the herd against my will, adopting the vacant stare and the half-arsed zombie walk of every other drone.

As I look down dejectedly I notice the odd socks of the man in front, as his slippers scuff the ground. Blue and green checks with yellow and red stripes? I wonder if it was on purpose, or maybe he’s colour blind, or…who knows? My mind wanders as I jar to another halt.

The monotonous crowd begins to wear on my sanity. My eyes flicker with rage as a hot wave flushes over me, overwhelming my entire body. I can’t take this much longer – I spy a small opening, and with impersonated athletic ability hop out in front of a mobility scooter, it’s far from graceful – and forces the lady to jam on the brakes, and curse my backside.. But I instinctively ignore her completely, avoiding eye contact, and skipping away as fast as I can possibly go. 

As I come into a clearing, a riotous stream of cars and buses whirs and whizzes in front of me, their driver’s demonic stares fixed unrelentingly on the road. I flash my watch once more: 12:13. I press the button, and pray to anything that I will still make it. Surely he would wait? No one is on time…wait fifteen minutes, that’s the rule. 

The red man is completely taking the piss, I mean…it certainly seems like forever as I stand here, just one of the masses, gawping with a blank stare at the light ahead, hypnotised by its uncompromising DON’T CROSS hue. I step out with impatience but a Land-Rover forces me off the road by way of a scream, and a shaking fist.

Oh, fuck you!” I whisper halfheartedly, hoping he didn’t actually hear me.

I see him brandish his middle finger boldly, for the whole world to see…scarred with public embarrassment, I sink into myself.

The man flicks to green.”

(The novel has/is going in a VERY weird direction…I don’t want to share too much, and spoil it – so this is a pretty light-hearted bit I felt wouldn’t hurt to release!)

Good luck to the other Nanowrimo writers out there! 

88 Replies to ““Delusions of Grandeur” *(Excerpt I)*”

  1. You could try building in some kind of absolutely unbelievable twist, that even you yourself didn’t see coming, so you could drive your story somewhere entirely new! Just an idea ☺


    1. hahaha maybe you’re right, I started off trying to just write a novel that was basically me (thought that would be easier…you know say it was errr Rob or something, but really it was just me 😀 ) but then it grew…and formed into something darker, and something way out of my comfort zone.

      The character is leading me now…HELP!


      1. Well. It is part of making a story exciting, as odd as it may seem, internalizing the character plays a big role. But I think it would be so cool if you have your funny adventure stories published as hard copies. Smart sense of humor is your forte.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I work in a similar way, with the movie reel spinning off whilst I try to capture the moments and describe the plot to the best of my ability. I love your descriptions and can’t wait to find out what happens next. Keep going – if you get a block, skip a scene and describe the next one in your head, using flashbacks to keep your reader updated. Hope that helps! 😀


      1. Nah, I’m not a quitter 🙂
        And you know, it’s only the 3rd of November.. in a day or two you could hit total clarity and write your novel like a superhuman 🙂
        We can do it!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. As Travelingmind said, make a compilation of all the crazy stories you have written here. Ironically I just wrote about you and made the same suggestion in my post!!

    I think the start of your story is great, as you said, a little disjointed but if you get it done and find a publisher, then it’s the editor that has to try and make sense of it all. If not, get it published for free in iBooks and make a mint from there. The world is your oyster, as long as you don’t accidentally step on it and crush it into a slimy pulp 🙂


    Liked by 1 person

  4. If it makes you feel any better, which it won’t, because it didn’t for me; the problem is not getting the 50K words…the problem is getting someone who wants to publish it for you. I loved the story so far, though it moves so fast I wonder if even with the time constraint of his watch-checking, if I could get a little more of the scene, background, colors, smells, tastes, time of day, place? But, I want to keep reading, I want to know what he is running to…from?
    Loved it!
    Thanks for sharing,
    Savannah Smiles


  5. It sounds good! Has it’s own voice. Something to consider – edit adjectives ie. ‘brandished his finger boldly’…. to brandish already infers a bold attitude. I’m one of those strange creatures who actually likes to edit. It’s entirely a personal perspective thing. I think you’re doing great. Don’t become disheartened, we’re here to cheer you on 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You do realize this is a draft and therefore doesn’t necessarily have to look and or read like a published novel by the 30th right? Dude, kick your inner critic to the curb, already will ya’? Just get the story told. You can pretty it up to match your vision in December :-).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hahaha! I needed that! Thank you! Seriously though, I know – but I am one of those people who picks on everything, goes back over, and over, and over…even my blog posts sometimes take a long time to do because I am so picky!

      But yes, I will hold that in my mind – GREAT advice! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  7. I am positively terrible. I read only one of your posts you read more of mine. I don’t get any emails when you pst anything new I am really sorry for being so mean really. Hope you can forgive.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have no idea where the story is going, but I’m definitely intrigued. I’m impressed by how visual your writing is, I’m literally seeing the scenes before me as I read. I also liked how you personified the stop light 🙂 the main character feels a bit familiar! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha! This is relatively light, but it edges firmly into dark comedy as it progresses on…I did start out by just writing myself (guilty), but he has morphed into a very disturbed, and twisted individual – of which I am only like you know 5% 😀

      That was like a little disclaimer in case you read it later, and you’re like oh my goodness.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I tried Nanowrimo one year…it did give me a boost, but I am still working on my novel. I have ended up doing a lot of research, which includes tons of reading.
    So that you can vividly portray your movie scene, I would try to practice describing to yourself daily activities to get a handle on details you may be leaving out. Wrote down, what you have, and then come back later and add more later.


    1. Thanks for the tips! I shall try them!

      I think the boost comes from the deadline in a way, of course if you set yourself limits you can push them back – but this feels like it is more restricted, and that helps! Editing though…yeah…whole different story!


  10. 12,000 words is pretty good for three days! You’ve got a whole month, and they’ll be lots of highs and low (and pulling your hair out and high-fiving yourself) Just keep going. Your character will mess with your mind, just get used to it and deal. Just try not the it them run over you too much.

    One thing I would suggest for the scene above, is give a little move description of what’s going on around him, particularly at the beginning, so that it sets the stage nicely. And this may just be because it’s a snip-it and I don’t know what came before it, but at first I imagned it as a Arabic market place or something (for some reason) but it got better as it went along, so good job:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is waaaaaaay into the novel, I didn’t want to give some of the other stuff away because it is vital to the plot, and also it is a little disturbing (and littered with more expletives than even I use, and as you know I am not shy in that respect!) he is battling with inner demons, so all kinds of mess is in there.

      I thought if I give a excerpt like that, everyone will be like…WHOA, ERRRRR…OKAY…STEP AWAY SLOWLY…haha!

      But thanks for the motivation for real! I am looking forward to the high fives, not so much the lows 😉 Your kind words make me smileeee! 😀


      1. Haha, well we’re not running away and screaming…. yey;)

        I figured it had plenty before it. It’s just the little things, like what he smells, see, hears, tastes, touch, and the like that can really bring a scene to life:) You just have to find the right balance of description and setting, and action and what he’s doing. Especially with something like you posted, where things are always changing. Oh, and on more thing, try not to go back and get stuck rewriting stuff and cleaning, that will come latter. Just enjoy the madness!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You’re right, you’re right! I am such a little freak with getting things “perfect” which is an impossibility anyway…as I said to someone else earlier, I tweak things, and leave it, come back change, even post the articles, and go back in to edit the posts…gahhh, hard to let go. But necessary.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. It’s fine to tweak things here and there when needed, especially as the plot develops, but perfectionist will kill the joy. As flygirl140 just said: “Screw worrying and just write the damn thing!” that’s my new motivational quote. And remember, you’ll get stuck, we all do, just figure out a way around it 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  11. You’re writing definitely has an air of intrigue while still being humorous! I’m amazed at your word count! Just keep writing and you’ll be amazed at how your plot will work its self out. Screw worrying and just write the damn thing! You’ve got this!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks a lot! The humour in the novel reaches some different places than my usual stuff, or at least that is how it is coming out…my love of American Psycho, and Fear and Loathing, has been adopted by my main character and ran with…I will have to put a HUGE disclaimer on the thing.

      It has a big point/twist at the end, but I shouldn’t be worried as you say, and just hope it figures itself out, thanks, really thanks 🙂


      1. I cant wait to read it! Im a huge fan of morbid and twisted humor!

        And no problem. I think its going to be good. I have to keep reminding myself to just write and let the plot come to me. I tend to get hung up in the outlining and forget to actually write. I also have a few writing buddies to help out when Im stuck 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Phewww! Well you should enjoy it hopefully 🙂 the people who are like “I loved this but did you have to say the f word?” when reading my posts will be best to leave it alone though. Never mind.

        Writing buddies can be very helpful, I’m learning that 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      3. well I try not to cuss but your posts really dont bother me. they are your poats and you should be able to use your own language. They probably wont pick up your novel but oh well!!

        I have come to love my writing buddies!


  12. Woah–you write fast. And it’s really, really good. I love how visual your descriptions are–I can totally see how you have a mental image of the scene playing in your head as if it were a movie. Good luck! 🙂


  13. I think you are doing really well John. I enjoyed your excerpt, and was tagging along with your character, feeling his frustration as he rushes to his destination. Keep going,as, from what i have read so far, it promises to be really good. 🙂


  14. Wanted to share a quote by a fav author – ““Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere.” ― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life” – In her book Lamott calls it a “shitty first draft” so forget about your worries. Just get the story out of your head and on to paper or screen. It’s not doing anyone any good locked up inside of you. Your fans want to read more! I want to read more!


  15. When I start a story and I’m stumped I like to figure out what my end is then make a backwards timeline. Of course, in my experience if you have well developed characters they will take on a life of their own and do things you don’t expect or sometimes even want. The best thing to do is write and see what happens. It may be far beyond what you thought, or piss you off, but it’s best to let them do what they want. Otherwise, you may find yourself with massive writers block.


  16. John – this is John. You’re excerpt sounds really good. What I’ve learned in the past about Nano is that the point of Nano is VOLUME. You want to simply keep writing, even if it doesn’t all make sense or you have a plot hole or twist. You can always go back later to modify it. Create three different endings and chop them up later. Also, dream sequences and flashbacks make easy word fodder. Sounds good so far. Don’t be afraid for everything not sounding great – just keep the plot moving and go for words vs. neat/tidiness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great advice, John…for a second I thought you were my conscience…haha…anyway the three endings thing is a fantastic idea, I’m going with two different perspectives now (son and mother) so that leaves room for a lot of writing on each side. I hope anyway. I’ll have to learn to switch off that editor we all have in our heads! Thanks a lot 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  17. I know your struggle. I always see my stories like movies in my head as well. The only tip I could give you is to just write down what happens and edit it later. You don’t need ‘pretty’ sentences right now. First write down the rough idea and then shape it into something stunningly beautiful. This works for me most of the time 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jim! I will elaborate on those characters then, good thinking – i was leaving them as just members of the crowd – like we might see someone and point him out as “guy with a beard” or you know, something!

      I am still plugging away with it though – it has became a huge mess…but maybe that is okay 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by with your wisdom!


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