When Depression Strikes.

I’m in a mood, a raging horrible mood – but it’s not my fault because you can’t blame me for the fact that everyone around me is a fucking moron. Can you? No. So there we have it. Also you can’t blame me for the fact that the person who made this chair I am sat in intentionally made it too high to slouch properly in, and too low to sit without hurting your back – well done fuckhead you messed it up in each and every possible way, congratulations. And you can’t blame me for making this fucking table which appears to be designed so that the user constantly lashes their knees off it whenever they decide to, oh I don’t know…move.

Oh God GIF

Imagine if your job is to design furniture…why would you design a steaming great pile of shit claiming it is ready for sale, and be happy to put your name to it? Wouldn’t you be embarrassed and ashamed of such a lousy lump of dog shit?

Perhaps they are  all watching me now, perhaps this is all some secret TV prank stunt bullshit, hahaha, let’s see if this sucker puts up with this fun-house carnival style seating arrangement! Oh the laughs, oh the giggles! Fucking bastards. Hate shit like that, can’t you just leave people alone and let them live in peace? Oh no, have to make your programme…have to make your viral vid. Scumbags.

So yes blatantly everyone is working  fucking extra hard to piss me off today, that much is clear. And yes I’ve had a lot of coffee but that has nothing to do with how irritable I may appear to be. Sorry, but why is there still a ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS!’ sign up in the corner of the cafe? It’s fucking June. Fucking dumb-asses – if I was to ask could they explain it? You may as well spit in Santa’s face, what disrespect – after all he has done over the years, and this is how you treat him? Should be bitterly ashamed. Christmas is cancelled for everyone working in this coffee shop, give them some coal and make them eat it. 

And why do old people talk so loudly during conversations – well shit, just in general? I’m not even sure if the women to my right are even together…because each and every one of them is talking at the same time – like, don’t they know the social conventions of a conversation, huh? Or did they forget that at some point? It’s supposed to be one person speaks, and when they stop it’s another person’s turn – not “ARRRR-BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH” x fucking 3 all at the same fucking time! And what is up with old people having afros? I have never understood that. But perhaps that’s a different point altogether, I don’t know. 

Can't Handle GIF

I started doing pretend typing for a bit there because some guy was staring at me and I didn’t know where to look. So I just ksdojasdopsadkaskljasdjksdankjasdnjksdakasdksa, until I sensed that he had sat down and had finally remembered that it’s rude to gawk at people you don’t know. No fucking Christmas for him either, coal for him too. 

And why do people take selfies? Okay obviously  I know why, but there is no humiliation in it any more. I really miss embarrassment, it kept people humble. My laptop just tried to change selfies to selfless, oh the fucking bitter irony.

If I had a rope I would probably lynch the horrible fuck to my left who is screaming down the phone to some sorry sap. He’s slapping the table with every sentence, as if it is fucking punctuation or something – well I wonder how he would like an ellipses of hammer blows to his skull? Probably wouldn’t be fond of that.

Murder GIF

Ahh, I feel a little better. If only people would stop slamming the door. God, I hate people – well no, I love people – I just hate each and every person in this specific area. How unfortunate that the most annoying people ever created have congregated in one spot. Lucky me.

I need fresh air. Goodbye.

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56 thoughts on “When Depression Strikes.

  1. Eep! I hope you feel better soon!

    Mini afros! Yes… Why? Is it something in our brain that just clicks when we hit a certain age that says ‘time to cut off the pony tail and sleep in mini rollers’ … I will be a crazy grandma with hair like Rapunzel … because I will ignore that clicky man in my head!

    Breath, count to ten and laugh at the irony.

    🙂

    Like

  2. Ahahahaha, I’m laughing only because I’m having somewhat of a similar morning here. People are being loud, like deafening loud in parallel conversations and coffee is being mean to me by not working (C’mon Mr Caffeine, about time to wake me up!). This kind of mornings are why the day should start in the afternoon. As for Christmas being celebrated in June, I look at a ‘Happy New Year 2013′ banner each morning, everyday. Soooooooo either someone is playing ’50 first dates’ here or that just happens -__-

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m wondering if the guy on the phone banging on the table is also complaining about the mini afros, late Christmas sign, old people talking loudly and dude to his left who is angrily typing out something that could possibly be an explanatory note for the rampage he’s about to embark on…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. When you can play your favourite song. I like Kyuss for instance.

    Do something that makes you feel alive. If that means something silly then silly it is. When you re-watch Monty Python’s “The Meaning of Life” you will appreciate fish more.

    Kung Fury is also worth it for the zero-fucks-given factor alone.

    Like

  5. I think you need to get out of that coffee shop asap! And perhaps do some yoga. Crappy days are the worst but writing it down and venting helps a ton. Hope your day gets brighter from here. Sending you smiles and happy vibes from Canada! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Alex, feel somewhat less bonkers. My mother would agree with the yoga thing, my body however…well let’s just say it’s not very compliant, haha! Appreciate your words, and I do feel a lot better now ~ so thank you!

      Like

  6. Ah, poor thing! You sound like me every time I go… outside. *shrugs* Those days suck and I’m sorry you’re having one of them. Eventually you’ll be back in your home, safe, away from all of the awful, awful people.

    Until then, just remember murder is perfectly legal in your imagination. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yesterday I just learned that irritability is masked anxiety. Thought that was interesting. I was VERY irritable yesterday. I have a loud coworker who yaps on and on and on about all the things she’s done and her small town and this relative and that relative … and these are the conversations that she’s having with patients — all focused around herself. I wonder who many selfies she has in her iPhone?

    Here’s a link on irritability as a common anxiety symptom: http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/close-irritability

    And a few days ago I was reading a blog post about a young woman who was so enraged that people on the internet, Facebook and Twitter stole her words without giving her credit … I was checking out her page and thought I’d look at her Instagram photos. 9 out of 10 were selfies! Gag. All we need are MORE self-serving narcissists on this planet! NOT!

    The following my not be about irritability, but it is about DUMB WAYS TO DIE … something to make you smile:

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the link, and I think the connection is definitely true. After all things are always more annoying when there is other things going on…you do well to tune out people like your coworker! Argh! I’d be raging! On my bad days anyway…

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Reading this seriously just made me feel like somewhat of a normal person knowing that I’m not the only one who has days like this lol. When I could literally kill everyone around me with my bare hands. *No Christmas for the guy who stares*….laughing so hard. Tomorrow is a new day!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Hi John. It’s been a while, I’ve missed reading your blog. Although I know this probably won’t help at all, I still laughed out loud while reading your post and enjoyed it. I hope things turn up for you. I understand the feeling when you’re just pissed off at everything. Just know that there are people out there who think you’re wonderful! Have a lovely day

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I like people. I love the seniors I work with. But I can’t understand why I find myself saying several times a week “I hate people”. Oh yeah, co-workers, families of the seniors, government rules with leadership interpretation of same……Crap it is Monday and I have to start this all over again….

    Like

  11. the swearing/cursing don’t work any empathy (not sympathy) is lost.
    If what you are doing depresses you, – walk away, do something else, even if it means leaving all possessions and friends behind, I did. Very easy and the best thing I ever did, I deserted mah familee and moved from adidas to nike, Portsmouth to London etc. just change the table & chair.

    Like

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