Mc Donald’s Head.

I’ve noticed something since I started travelling the world, and it has only been strengthened during my time writing this blog, and putting together my stories! 

Humour is something that brings people together – it’s a very HUMAN experience…and isn’t limited by race, culture, or whatever else!

l meet new people when travelling from all over the world, and what is the first thing we do? Usually make each other laugh! A stupid joke…a silly observation, a ridiculous suggestion…whatever it is. It’s something we can all share in, and is a terrific way to bond – and become new best buds for life.

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It also isn’t limited by language – my new kindergarten class can barely say “hello, how are you?” never mind anything more complex – but they have already came up with ways to make jokes, and get laughs! (at my expense!) 

“Teacher teacher! You like a McDonald?”

“Erm. Yes I do – of course! Why?” 

“Uhh-uhhh!” 

(Points frantically in the general direction of my face, incapable of getting out any more words)

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“Huh? What do you mean?” 

(Taps the unfortunate  wrinkle creases on my forehead)

“Teacher is a McDonald!” 

And in that moment I understood – and I was naturally shocked, but couldn’t help but guffaw like some madly intoxicated hyena…along with the rest of the class. We laughed about it for the rest of the day actually, and I still giggle (and cry a little) when it pops into my head at random times in the day!

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Clever little bas**rds!

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Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!

Washed Thumbs.

I’ve noticed something (BREEEEP-BREEEEEP! MASSIVE GENERALISATION ALERT! BREEEEP! BREEEEP!) there is less of a fondness towards the washing of one’s hands after use of the lavatory here in Korea. Well, the men at least, the older men in particular – I can’t really speak for the ladies – they frown upon me entering their bathroom you see. I know! Political correctness gone mad! Anyway, I digress…

My point is that a healthy majority just seem to splash, and dash. I imagine they feel that the urinal (hate that word! That’s my equivalent to people’s distaste to ‘moist’) is less of a touchy, touchy situation so they reckon they don’t have to wash their hands…

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Now I’m not here to launch some kind of campaign. I don’t want people to start ranting on Twitter, and making phrases like #SKHandWash, or #PeePeeGate trend. I just needed to provide that background so I could tell you of a funny little occurrence I had today –

I was in the public bathroom after watching the surprisingly good Big Hero 6 – and as per usual I’m cramped in the corner, and just trying to be over, and done as fast as humanely possible. It was really squashed, and tight in there which made the whole process all the more stifling, and irritating. However for how many people there were in there – there was only one guy standing at the sink washing his hands! Result, I thought to myself! In a weird kinda way…the lackadaisical approach to basic hygiene has paid off!

So I strolled over there – well not strolled, the floor was all wet, and a relaxed stroll could have meant I’d slip over and fall face first into a thousand men’s combined urine trail. So no, it was more of a cautious stepping, I lied about the stroll thing. Wanted to appear more cool I guess. Apologies. 

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Anyway I got to the sink, and felt my other hand-washing partner stare me down. I could sense him in my peripheral vision – just glaring at me, as he massaged the soap into his hands. Perhaps he is so used to being the only one washing his hands that he took me as a threat?! A rival to his position?! I couldn’t be sure, so I looked back at him, to see what his deal was –

But he wasn’t grimacing with anger at all – he was smiling, in fact he looked over the moon!

“Hand washing?” he beamed, as he winked, and held up soapy thumbs as a sign of his excitement,

“Yeah…” I said, rather blankly – instantly feeling bad for not reciprocating his positivity,

“We’re cool guys. Hand washing is cool!” he cooed, as he dried his hands. I nodded, and did my best fake smile – which felt convincing at the time. He then clicked his fingers, and did a little half-dance wiggle, before heading out.

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So my thoughts regarding the whole thing are this – perhaps a nationwide commercial/advertisement? With that guy as the face of the whole thing…he could revolutionize the culture. He certainly changed my view on the whole thing!

But how do I find him…hmmm…

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Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!

About ME.

Many thanks to Andy Lawson and Susanne Leist who have both nominated me for the “One Lovely Blog” award – I appreciate it! Usually I don’t go for these things, but I feel this will be a good way for my readers to get to know me a little bit better…anyway…here are seven little facts about, well…me!

1. My full name is John Lee Bartholomew Taggart. I am just going to go ahead and assume that the ‘Bartholomew’ bit is leaping out at you as unusual…rather than say, the ‘Lee’ bit. Well yeah, I thought it would be amusing to pick that name when offered the chance during the Roman Catholic “confirmation” ceremony as a thirteen year old. Perhaps I didn’t take it as seriously as I should have, but I certainly stand by my decision.

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2. Despite being raised a Catholic I am not sure what I would call myself these days, possibly Jedi if I was being a little jokey, Wizard if I was being serious – I guess cynicism and doubt has creeped into my mind, which has pushed out things like religion and spirituality to some extent, or so it seems. I think this is a bit of a shame, but that’s just how it is.

N.B. If Jesus or anyone wants to come visit me, then my door is always open though. Or an angel…to like, tell me everyone has it wrong and I need to set up my own church – either way, I am totally and completely down. Drop by, or send me an email.

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3. I am one of five children – which basically means at some point in time we have all worn the same clothes – big families are just all about that hand-me-down life, that’s just how it is! Unless the clothing item is torn into shreds by some unavoidable bush, SOMEONE is wearing it. Think the Weasley family from Harry Potter, but a little less magic…oh, and yeah, not fictional.

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4. I am an ex-red head. That is to say as a young child I had bright ginger hair which somehow vanished as time went on…there are only a few photos which can prove this…but it is the truth! These days I am lumbered with all of the same inconveniences a red haired person may encounter – such as pale skin and a hatred of the sun, but none of the positive things – namely interesting hair. Instead I have mousey coloured hair…or dirty blonde…basically things that sound a little sewagey…that is the description my hair gets these days. Great.

Ginger GIF

5. I don’t make a regular habit of buying lottery tickets – simply because every single time (I have on perhaps three occasions) I truly and wholeheartedly believe I am going to win…like really, I honestly think that this is it, that any money woes are a thing of the past, and that by the end of the week I will be a multi-millionaire. I pick out houses, cars, fountains…I get in touch with statue designers and artists so that once the money comes through they can get to work on crafting out images of me that will be placed pride of place in my mansion for generations to come.

Then I sit down on the evening and find that none – not one of the numbers, has came through for me. I tend to enter a massive sulk for at least a week which totally consumes my whole life. Not worth the upheaval, not in the slightest.

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6. I am somewhat of an over-thinker…actually the single biggest reason I try and go for every opportunity (whether it be travel or anything else) is largely because of some weird notion that it could pave the way to an even bigger opportunity that in retrospect I would have been a fool to miss out on. I always think of myself as a decrepit old man sitting in a rocking chair, slowly shitting myself to death, thinking of what would have happened if I…anyway, that is usually enough for me to think – “RIGHT JUST GO FOR IT!”

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7. Oh, and last but definitely not least – I absolutely fucking love cheese.

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Here are 15 bloggers you should definitely check out, they are some of my faves anyway:

1. http://wandabvictorian.wordpress.com
2. http://thebritishberliner.wordpress.com
3. http://ladysteene.wordpress.com
4. http://openroadbeforeme.com
5. http://rjgreenphoto.wordpress.com
6. http://xiotteilegends.wordpress.com
7. http://redhottruth.wordpress.com
8. http://rockandrollsupermom.wordpress.com
9. http://auntdoris.wordpress.com
10. http://ramblingsfromamum.wordpress.com
11. http://franciscalaureijs.com
12. http://10eveningflowers.wordpress.com
13. http://charlypriest.wordpress.com
14. http://apromptreply.wordpress.com
15. http://reluctantcatowner.com

Oh, and here are the original links from Andy and Susanne:

http://lawsonandy.wordpress.com/2014/07/22/awarded-one-lovely-blog-award/

http://susanneleist.wordpress.com/2014/08/07/one-lovely-blog-award/

Thanks again guys!