BRITISH TEA (RIP)

Well my dearly beloved…I had prayed the day would never come – and yet…here it is…I’m saddened to report that I have indeed…sorry I promised myself I wouldn’t cry…

…ahem, I am saddened to report that…I have ran out of tea, and with this dagger to the heart – I have also ran out of hope, I am absolutely beside myself. 

Tea

RIP.

www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn

www.youtube.com/storytimewithjohn101

Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!

The Truth about Dog Cafés…

Unbelievably I have already been in South Korea for eleven months, and I have only just experienced their fabled “dog cafés” this weekend! The reason for the wait you wonder? A mixture of inadvertent racism and unintentional ignorance I’m afraid! You see…when I was in China, a couple of years ago, I found that the dog café scene was distinctly different – namely that man’s best friend was served to you in a stew, in the middle of the table, with rice, and a beer. To answer your question, yes I do still have nightmares.

Dog Cafe GIF

But, more about that another time…

Anyway, so when it was suggested to me in Korea, I was dead set against it! Well, as it turns out, the Korean counterpart is somewhat different…it’s just a café with dogs, that you can pet as you drink your hot chocolate! (Oh, and yeah – the dogs are alive, which is a fantastic feature!) So yes, I was pleased – as it certainly posed less of a moral dilemma this time around…it was “hmmm, coffee or tea?” rather than “hmmm…eat some dog stew or go hungry tonight?”

I must say the whole thing was an interesting novelty; sitting with an americano while a couple of dogs lie lovingly in your lap! However, I wouldn’t suggest it for a first date…I can only imagine that a dog taking a shit on your table might turn the romance levels down to approximately -10, or that a dog pissing on your jeans might kill off any of your chances of a second meeting. Unless you’re into that kind of thing. Erm…

Naturally I feel like a bit of lunatic  now, as I recall screaming at some friends who asked me to accompany them to the same place a few months ago, “NO! I HAVE BEEN ONCE BEFORE IN CHINA AND THAT WAS QUITE ENOUGH – I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD GO?! WHO ARE YOU? YOU MAKE ME SIIIIIICK!” And all they were doing was going to drink a cup of tea and pet some animals. The word “cringe” doesn’t quite cover it.

Cringe GIF

At any rate, I will be returning as it was definitely a lot of fun; I just hope next time around the sausage dog doesn’t use my thigh in lieu of a girlfriend. That’s all I ask…

I’m off to take four showers, as I still feel dirty.

Like this story? Then why not like the Facebook page? www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE!