Cock Please

I’ve been asked to provide five possible short stories, which display language errors – for a Korean made English language book – I suppose the aim is to point out possible mistakes that could be made, so that English learners don’t have to make them personally! Anyway, I have to get them done by Sunday! Phew, that’s a lot of work! So yeah, rough and ready; here is the 1st of 5: 

Every once in a while, as Korean work culture dictates – the boss will take all of his employees out for a staff dinner. The set menu of this occasion is usually something like; meal, drinks, more drinking, karaoke, more drinking, then slump back to bed wishing you hadn’t had those last few soju shots. It’s a well established formula, and always makes for gossip fueled dramas, as well as silly memories among your work colleagues. Some people dread it, some people love it.

Dunno GIF

What I wasn’t expecting to be offered was…errr…something other than food, alcohol, and the microphone…I mean I certainly wasn’t expecting to be offered “a cock”. 

You see there I was…happily chowing down on some grilled meat, and vegetables – when my boss leaned in to my ear – and whispered…“would you like – a cock?” Erm. Errr…well, I was frozen to the spot. I didn’t know what to say – no one wants to be rude to their boss, especially in Korea that is a big no-no! So I asked him to repeat his question…maybe I had misheard?

“Would you like a cock?” 

Ralphie Shock GIF

No. I hadn’t misheard – that is most definitely what he had said – I looked around for someone, anyone to save me…thankfully I noticed the waiter next to me, and worked out that he actually meant to say Coke, as in Coca Cola! 

“Oh, yes!” I replied – “One cock, please!”

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64 thoughts on “Cock Please

  1. I had numerous students from jordan to bangladesh, and many of them had big problems with “th”.
    “first” and “second” were ok, but a quick jump to “fourth” would have avoided some raised eyebrows.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lol I used to eat at an Indian restaurant some years back (it’s closed down now) and the Indian barman always used to say ‘cock’ instead of coke’! I swear it’s true! Was hilarious :-p

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  3. Ha ha!! Talking about ‘cock’ and language learning, in school, with 5/6 year olds, we were making senses cubes. The kids had to draw something they liked to do with each sense, like, ‘I like to feel…’, ‘I like to hear…’ I got two ‘I like to taste ‘cock’!!! (Coke!!😝). Erm…. Cue uncomfortable teacher looks!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Haha! I always call coke cock, i say to my boyfriend “want some cock?” And his face is priceless everytime, he wants to say yes but he has that funny ‘i’m not quite sure what to say’ look on his face lol

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  5. Now I really had no idea how that story would end – Cock for Coke I love it.
    A while back the Coke commercial was musical and ended with have a Coke and a smile. I am imagining it Korean-style lol.

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  6. Reblogged this on Author S B Mazing and commented:
    Saw this yesterday while reading all your posts in my reader and thought it would be a great addition to my “I Can English Wednesday” Blog Event. For all of you interested: It is all about little mistakes in the English language and some funny moments coming out of it… Do you have a story to tell? Let me know or simply link it to the “I Can English Wednesday” page here on my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Reblogged this on A Momma's View and commented:
    Saw this yesterday while reading through your posts in my reader. Thought it would be a good addition to my “I Can English Wednesday” Blog Event. If you have a funny story to tell about an English word in a different way and that leading to a funny situation, let me know or simply link it to the “I Can English Wednesday” page on my blog.

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  8. Oh my that is a really big oopsie and good for you for ordering a cock instead of a coke as I can imagine that it would be rude to correct a mistake like that to your boss. Lets hope he doesn’t read your blog!

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  9. Hahaaaa! That happens where I am too – in Thailand! Have you heard of “talk cock”. Your story reminds me of that – it’s an expression Singaporeans use, to imply that it’s rubbish or nonsense. We also “Singlish-fy” it by saying “you talking cock”. And one that never fail to baffle foreigners.:)

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