Elderly Children

The other day I laughed like I haven’t done in months…and it wasn’t from a well-crafted and intelligent political barb either, or an amusing satirical comment on Western society’s culture – or anything else that demands some level of brain activity to “get” – no…it was a lot more simple and pure than all of that, butContinue reading “Elderly Children”

How to (Pretend) to be a Human.

I just read through, well attempted to read through – an entire list of things that make up what it means to be the ‘Modern Man’.… Well it should go without saying that it made me violently sick…after all, lists of that kind can only ever be restrictive and judgmental…sort of like; “this is the way you shouldContinue reading “How to (Pretend) to be a Human.”

Simple Tips for Novel Planning (Video Request)

I’m currently working on a new novel…rather excited about it actually – I promise I’m going to come through with this one (motivation through “wooooo, you can do it!” calls would be greatly appreciated!) so it is rather bizarre that I got a wee video request asking for tips on planning out novels… If you have any adviceContinue reading “Simple Tips for Novel Planning (Video Request)”

Saunas, and Snowballs

I’m not such a confident guy, which may shock you to hear. Or perhaps not if you’ve watched any of my YouTube videos, considered how I may come off around normal people – and then put two and two together. If that means you, then well done – you cracked the DaJohnvi Code! Congratulations! Apologies but there’sContinue reading “Saunas, and Snowballs”

KIDS ARE WEIRDOS!

A spot of unfortunate toilet trouble ended up in me coming to one pretty solid conclusion…that kids are weird, and there’s no two ways around it! I mean what would you have done in this situation I found myself in… Every day is another lesson in straight up strangeness. I swear.  If you have aContinue reading “KIDS ARE WEIRDOS!”

What’s the Point? (Existential Crisis)

Life. We slave away at jobs we don’t care about, or chase dreams that only ourselves can ever truly be invested in…and for what? I mean it doesn’t really matter, any of it – apart from for selfish reasons which in their very essence are dumb and somewhat childlike; they’re all – “I WANT THIS…I WANT TO BEContinue reading “What’s the Point? (Existential Crisis)”

IS 50 CENT BANKRUPT?! (NAHH!)

Despite his namesake this 50 Cent character is far, far, far from broke. Here I break down exactly what is going on; it’s all clever legal maneuvering rather than Monopoly style madness. Worth a watch: So what do you think of him then? Smart guy, or total knob? Both perhaps? If you have a video request youContinue reading “IS 50 CENT BANKRUPT?! (NAHH!)”

Kid’s Tall Tales

This internet age we live in is amazing; it brings humanity closer together, communication has never been easier, there is a wealth of information at our fingertips – and it’s true to say Storytime with John wouldn’t exist without it! So, what’s not to love about that?! This guy knows… Well…whilst I accept all of those points highlighted (especiallyContinue reading “Kid’s Tall Tales”

The Psycho Stalker…

Some stories write themselves…and some take years, and years…well this particular one has been waiting in the drafts for a long, long time. Every time I went back to it I just couldn’t find the words, I couldn’t express all of the oddness, craziness, and horror on the page! I came close, but it didn’t ever seem quiteContinue reading “The Psycho Stalker…”

UK vs. USA

UK VERSUS THE USA!!!! WHO WILL WIN?! WHO IS BETTER?! BATTLE ROYALEEE! LET’S GET REAAAAAADY TO RUMMMMMMBLEEEEE! Okay, it’s not as dramatic as all that but still…in this video I look at the differences between the UK and the USA…were are we similar? Were are we COMPLETELY different?! I only name  few that I haveContinue reading “UK vs. USA”