Kid’s Tall Tales

This internet age we live in is amazing; it brings humanity closer together, communication has never been easier, there is a wealth of information at our fingertips – and it’s true to say Storytime with John wouldn’t exist without it! So, what’s not to love about that?!

Creepy GIF

This guy knows…

Well…whilst I accept all of those points highlighted (especially the latter), I must say I’ve noticed one thing that the internet has well and truly ruined…and it’s a big one I’m afraid…

And that is, tall tales. You remember those? When you could hear a fact from your friend, who heard it from someone else, who heard it from his cousin’s ex-wife’s pet giraffe…and yeah, naturally by the time it reached you it was convoluted and contorted into a completely nonsensical story that no longer resembled anything close to reality…but still, it kept life interesting! 

You would probably know at least one person solely renowned for being a “bullshitter”, someone who would tell “tall tales” and basically just come out with absolute tripe that no one could possibly begin to take seriously…but it was fun. and people would crowd around to listen anyway – dissecting the whole story apart, and picking out bits that may be true ,and bits that must be total fabrication…adding in what they had heard from various unconfirmed sources…and so the cycle continues…

Lying GIF

Lies make the world a more engrossing place to be, let’s be honest.

Now what would happen these days, huh? If someone steps out of line, and dares to dream…has the pluck to just start waffling absolute garbage they basically know nothing about – some killjoy is certain to whip out their smart phone and Google whatever it is that has came into question…

“Ah-ha-ha, I have to stop you there…it says here that sushi is technically not raw fish as not all sushi involves raw fish” 

  • complete with a smug smirk despite the fact it wasn’t even pulled from their own brain bank…urgh, makes life dull doesn’t it? 

That’s another reason I love kids. They don’t give one solitary shit about truth, honesty, reason, and logic. Much like myself. They can stand in the face of facts and argue ardently on a point they barely even comprehend – now that is dedication, now THAT should be admired! You see they haven’t matured, I guess that’s what it is – but let’s not consider it in a negative light…instead let’s herald it as a much more interesting way to view the world…

You see a child hears something, perhaps something serious and very grown up…and they don’t full understand it…so they fill in the gaps with hearsay, rumor, and their imagination…and what comes out the other end is sheer unadulterated brilliance!

Hobbit WOW GIF

“That can’t be…is…hmm…tell me more…”

Like today for example, I was talking to some elementary kids about the MERS virus that is currently causing hysteria in South Korea, and they certainly had a lot of errr, riveting perspectives on the whole thing…like how about this? One kid told me that he’d heard the MERS virus crawls around while you’re sleeping – and goes into ladies with baby bellies…eats the baby inside and then comes out to go onto the next unfortunate victim. Horrifying and worthy of a sequel film, but a great tall tale all the same…

But did I reach for the phone? No – I argued in the traditional sense…told him it wasn’t true, and that he needn’t worry. But he insisted he had watched it on the news, and had asked his mother who had added credibility to the claim…so that was that, there was no convincing the lad.  So I admitted defeat, instead requesting he double checks his facts (you know, just in case!)

If there are any bullshitters still out there…then long may you live, and prosper – you add much to the tapestry of life, and I am sad to see your numbers dwindling.

This article is dedicated to my old friend in first grade class, who would tell me his father’s job was to be an Indiana Jones type figure who fought off villains and gorillas in some distant land someplace. I still believe you.

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10 thoughts on “Kid’s Tall Tales

  1. Great post. I think our ability to access information so conveniently affects some people’s abilities to enjoy fiction. I’ll never forget a review I read for a book about dragons being used as an air force during the Napoleonic Wars. I love the book. It was full of imagination and beautiful language. This reviewer, however, took issue with the dragons, citing physiological reasons why dragons wouldn’t be able to talk and arguing they would be a disaster for the environment. Really?? I think that person probably should step out of fiction reading altogether.

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  2. My tall tales begin with wouldn’t it be funny if….. and the scenario unfolds before my friends. It took them awhile to figure out that the “wouldn’t it be funny if” was an introduction to a story. (Oh my!) They thought I was crazy. Now they go along with the story and add details or corrections to make the tale even funnier. It takes a year to get them to that level, but once they arrive it makes for fun times.

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  3. Reminds me of when I was in class and my teacher told everyone you can’t get HIV from bodily fluids, despite me knowing from someone who actually did the research in the lab and works in medicine, that yes, the concentration of the virus in those who carry it is very high if they don’t take their meds. Ugh. Ignorance.

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  4. My father was a grade “A” bullcrapper. And I was top of the line gulliBULL. He once got a blood blister doing his manly man work. I had never seen one. I had seen a mosquito bite. (The mosquito is the provincial bird of Manitoba Canada). He told me his blood blister was a mosquito bite and the reason it was purple was the mosquito had previously ingested moose blood and then deposited it in his finger…sorta backwash if you will. Yup…believed it. I also believed it when he could pull his thumb off…the logic being that if he could remove his teeth, he could also remove this thumb.

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