FUCK SELFIES!

I feel like such a grumpy old man for saying this…but I still hate the whole selfie thing.

Not just like taking a photograph of you and your ice cream (or whatever) and then sending it to your friend all: “haha – you don’t have a fucking ice cream, and I do!” – because of course, that is fantastic and I would never want to deprive anyone of such a perverse pleasure…

I’m not even talking about getting a quick snap of you and your friends together to mark some kind of occasion…actually you know what I have no problem with the selfie in itself at all…

But what I do have an issue with is the non-stop: KA-CHURR! … KA-CHURR! … KA-CHURR! 

Selfie GIF

(That was supposed to be the camera sound on phones by the way; was a difficult one to recreate phonetically!)

You see I’m sitting here in Starbucks – probably (definitely) drank too much coffee, but this person is sitting next to me taking photos at every angle – and has been doing so for over half an hour now. This cafe has basically became her own personal photo-shoot: but why? JUST WHY?! 

I’m trying to see if there is anything special going on…she hasn’t even got one of the festive drinks – you know, the ‘Returning Favorite: Toffee Nut Latte’, perhaps I could understand the Christmas-time excitement in that case – why you would need 3,000 photographs of the same thing is beyond me, but still…actually wait – she hasn’t even bought anything! I thought for a second she may be taking photos of the new red cup – that would make sense it has been somewhat of a fiasco as of late…but NO! She has a carton of chocolate milkshake – which looks great and everything, but what…where have you pulled that from?! Who are you?! (and why aren’t you sharing? Man, it seriously looks delicious).

HUh GIF

The thing is, in Korea the selfie is king. There’s none of the shame surrounding it which I remember back home in England. I always thought that if you were by yourself taking photos of yourself in public non-stop, people would possibly (and quite rightly) – look at you as shallow, self-obsessed and well…entirely narcissistic. Here in SK that is still true, but because of the huge importance looks hold in this plastic surgery obsessed society, it is not considered to be a negative at all…so I am somewhat of a miserable island here, complaining all by myself to anyone who will listen (which is next to no one).

Ah phew, she’s left…rant over – and she didn’t even leave me any of the milkshake…what a so and so!

But what do you think about this: am I spot on or just a grumpy owld geezer who needs to get with the times? Lemme know…

www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn

www.youtube.com/storytimewithjohn101

Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!

Advertisements

38 thoughts on “FUCK SELFIES!

  1. I agree with you completely, but then I’m one who hates to have anyone take my picture. For me taking my picture is an invasion of privacy. But then, I’m kind of weird. Oh well – have a great day and Aloha – pjs/

    Like

  2. I have always loathed the selfie. Yep, I have sent happy smiles to my kids or “Hey remmember when we came here and I still live by the beach. How’s the snow shovellin going?” kind of thing. But the smoochie face, pseudo glamour shots taken obviously in the can I just don’t get. I always want to ask if they actually don’t HAVE a friend or loved one to take a decent photo of them. I think Facebook and Apple have helped put Starbucks on the map dude.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You need to get with the times and purchase a selfie stick as well… and then post pictures of yourself (after you’ve perfected your duck lips), in various locations in Korea! I will watch for the upcoming post! lol

    Like

  4. before we used to stop if people took a picture of something now I am confused …is it selfie or not ? my attitude ? I don´t care anymore ! and you know the worse of selfies ??? selfie stick !! I almost got blind once with this stupid stuff.

    Like

  5. I know right. Taking selfies sometimes is alright. But when one takes selfies JUST for social media as if to prove a point to others, it gets annoying. Plus, now humanity has a new obsession in the form of narcissistic sticks.

    Like

  6. Another worst part about the selfie is that it’s been around long before camera phones, and it’s the same damn person holding a Kodiak or Polaroid. It’s also funny to see one pimple or acne bump appear quite often on that person, and I’m thinking, “Someone’s making progress with their life.”

    Like

  7. I think having to listen to the shutter sound on a camera nonstop for thirty minutes would be annoying too. But, as someone who casually takes pictures (not even a professional–just a hobbyist), I’ve learned the hard way: You NEED to take a billion to get even one decent shot. I can go out, take a thousand photos, and maybe three of them won’t be complete shit. And I have one of those nice DSLR cameras. So, I have nothing against this girl trying to make sure she gets one shot of her face that doesn’t look like she’s having a seizure or something on a shitty camera phone.

    But seriously? She didn’t even offer you a sip of milkshake? Eff that greedy little shutterbug. I hope she has boogers in every pic. That’s just shameful.

    Like

  8. Maybe her eyeliner was drawn on perfectly, or maybe her hair looked great. Or maybe she just felt pretty. Idk. But yeah. Too many selfies especially in the public is weird and awkward, at least to me.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s