Tag: eater

• The Sandwich Day

  We are often told by Hallmark card sentimentalists that “life is a rollercoaster”, and that “there are ups and downs”, and whatever else they bother to print. Which may or may not be true, but that’s not the point I’m making. Instead I am just stating that these printed catch-all messages don’t prepare you for the real depressingly low slumps in…

  May 1, 2015

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• The Rebellion of the Stomach

  This is a bit of an over-share, I know that for certain…but I am hoping someone can shine some light on what is so far a very dark day… So after an innocent child mistook my man boobs for actual woman’s boobs sometime last week (to my absolute horror), I decided that perhaps I should clean…

  April 21, 2015

  Musings

• Low Fat…Low Fun.

  Sitting here, staring into the grey abyss of my cereal bowl. The foul putrid liquid that softens, and dulls the frosted flakes – turning them into flavorless cardboard husks before my very eyes. How did it come to this? Do I deserve this fate, which is surely worse than death?  Low fat…it’s low fun. It’s flavourless,…

  February 23, 2015

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• HORRIFYING.

  You need to feel sorry for me…like right now – please! I need all of the “there, there!”, the pats on the back…the warm soup, and blanket – ALL OF THAT STUFF! Because to put it plainly I have just been shook to the very core. In fact my whole world may NEVER be the same… Let me just…

  February 12, 2015

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