The Dadbod Myth

Okay internet, we have to talk…and I think you know why…

The fabled “Dadbod” thing that seems to be doing the rounds recently…apparently it’s the new hot thing? That every woman cannot resist? Is…this…like, are you actually for real though? You mean to say that suddenly those Grecian demi-god types, those sculpted walking statues, those action figurine looking fellas… are now of absolutely no value or merit whatsoever? I mean…huh?!

I have seen a lot of commentary about Leonardo DiCaprio, and many articles appear to use him as a figurehead for the Dadbod movement…as if to say;

“Look! Leonardo DiCaprio is slightly overweight, and has a number of girlfriends! This Dadbod thing must be true!”

Which would make sense, if it didn’t make absolutely no sense. It’s almost like people are looking past the fact that he is a multi-millionaire…who also just happens to be LEONARDO DI-FUCKING-CAPRIO! I mean come on! Get real for God’s sake.

The truth of the matter is that it’s an attempt by the media to square up the conversation of body-weight acceptance between genders. A few years ago the “big is beautiful” thing was rolled out for females, and it really caught on – and I can see why! Suddenly women didn’t have to feel marginalised or devalued just because they were not Hollywood slim…this led to many men nodding in agreement, claiming they actually prefer real women, and blah blah blah.

Now that’s all well and good, so please don’t think I’m knocking it.

But then along comes the male version of “big is beautiful” – the Dadbod…

…and well, simply put – I’m not buying it! I would argue males have NEVER had the same kind of pressure based around physical beauty that women have – so this little trend is almost like someone saying; “hey! I took off the shackles – run free!” when the individual wasn’t even chained up in the first place. It just makes no sense…sure men would love to look like Ryan Gosling, Hugh Jackman…or (PICK ANY GLORIOUS CHISELLED ADONIS OF YOUR CHOICE), but if we are not gym going types we just shrug our shoulders and accept our lot; aka pick up the remote and some sort of cheesy snack…

Reason being we don’t get the same body shaming tactics that I feel females have historically received – that’s why it’s hilarious to hear that the Dadbod thing is “in!” You mean to say that I now have permission to eat eight slices of pizza, and drink a few pints of beer whenever I want? And that I am allowed to have that inevitable extra bit of weight as a result?

THANK YOU SO MUCH, I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE GO AHEAD! I HAD BEEN STARVING MYSELF, AND HAD BEEN STONE-COLD SOBER! BUT NOW…PHEW…WHAT A WEIGHT THAT HAS BEEN LIFTED! AND I FEEL HOT BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOLD ME I AM NOW HOT. WOOOO!

Ridiculous. Let’s live in the real world.

Perhaps I’m wrong though…well, I’m not for sure – but what do you think?

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35 responses

amandaquirky

May 18, 2015

I believe you’re exactly right, on all counts: the differing levels of body-shaming, the ridiculousness of equating the male and female experiences, the fact that being rich and famous just *might* play some part in attractiveness; and I love your acknowledgment of how silly it is, to tell someone who’s never been shackled in the first place, to run free.

Congrats on having a book out, by the way. I *will* buy it, you know, soon… ish…

LikeLiked by 3 people

Storytime with John

May 19, 2015

Hey Amanda, missed you! I do always think it’s silly to try and match/equal the two gender experiences…as if there is no difference at all…there is but that difference is an interesting and beautiful thing. Silly for sure.

LikeLike

Reply

A.E. Rivenbark

May 18, 2015

Completely agree. It was mind boggling to me that it was even news. You mean nothing’s changed? Phew! For a minute there I thought I could hop off that treadmill. Excellent post.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Storytime with John

May 19, 2015

BREAKING NEWS! CONTINUE AS NORMAL!

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply

DitchTheBun

May 18, 2015

I think it depends on the type of male you are though. In Australia the reprisal of the skinny jean fashion craze (which I might add was proven to cut/restrict circulation the first time it was in fashion) also brought with it svelte or skinny models a la Matthew Gray Gubler and the numbers of cases of teen male eating disorders also raised very significantly because this is what they thought they had to be.
I still don’t really agree with the whole Dad-Bod thing and feel a better idea would be to promote “health at any size”. Some people are naturally skinny, but it is just as bad for them to eat a whole pizza every night as it is for someone like me who is more rotund 🙂 There needs to be less focus on size in general and more on nutrition and what effect different eating habits have on your body.
Sorry to get all serious on you 🙂

LikeLiked by 3 people

Storytime with John

May 19, 2015

Ah mannnn we’re getting into it now! I would argue that such extremely unfortunate disorders would be more likely present in teens/younger men ~ I am talking more about the regular average bloke than the new wave of millennial we are seeing come through in recent years. Anyway that’s a whole different discussion I feel, I would definitely encourage healthy eating over a focus ln size – but as we know the media/magazines/hollywood don’t give two shits about that it’s all about what you look like. In fact if you are slim and still eat pizza they will herald you as some kind of hero. It’s ridiculous, backwards, and in some cases destructive but that’s the world we are in. I hope opening up conversation on the matter can encourage growth and change.

LikeLiked by 2 people

Reply
1. DitchTheBun
  
  May 19, 2015
  
  “In fact if you are slim and still eat pizza they will herald you as some kind of hero” – You are so on point with this statement. It is truly terrible.
  As you said in your post (somewhat sarcastically, but it was a good point) some people think it is only okay to look the way they do because someone else tells them so AKA pop culture 🙂 This is a horrible thing and when I have kids I will do everything I can to fight that trend in them.
  The unfortunate fact is that this is reality, this is what people accept and believe. It has taken me a LONG time to accept and love myself for who I am and ignore what society has tried to make me. I honestly think I am a better person now with all my jiggly bits, than I was when I was a starving skinny bitch… seriously… lack of pizza and chocolate make me a hella cranky Librarian – and I was really ill, I wasn’t healthy.
  Unfortunately I feel that there will be tiny baby steps all the way (with some inevitable U-turns) before we get anywhere close to turning society around on this one. But perhaps the “fat is beautiful” & “dadbod” (as much as I dislike both terms) is a first step? I don’t necessarily like it, but is it a step in the right direction???
  
  LikeLike

mandibelle16

May 18, 2015

Hmmm hard one. I like nice abs and pecs but I feel bad for men who can’t attain that figure. But I also agree men don’t face the same pressure woman do to look tiny and thin. I think a better solution is an everybody be healthy and exercise and mostly eat right body. Cause eating a whole crate of chips just isn’t acceptable for anyone

LikeLike

Storytime with John

May 19, 2015

haha, everyone can but the will is only there in a small percentage ~ you don’t have to feel bad though we are trading that for the enjoyment of good (aka bad) food! 😉 on a serious note I do agree it should be about healthy regimes on both sides! Surely? !

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply

Jules Strawberry

May 18, 2015

THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT! Along with, WTH Leo got fat!

Thanks for keeping it real!

Cheers!

LikeLiked by 2 people

Storytime with John

May 19, 2015

Yeah, hahaha ~ when did that happen all of a sudden?!

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply

imperfectant

May 18, 2015

I love reading your stuff. Never fails to put a smile on my face 🙂

LikeLiked by 1 person

Storytime with John

May 19, 2015

Lovely thought, thank you 🙂

LikeLike

Reply

Aimer Boyz

May 18, 2015

Absolutely right. Funny and right 🙂
This is one area women could learn from men, “You’re not a supermodel, hey, move on.”

LikeLiked by 1 person

Storytime with John

May 19, 2015

It’s weird really, I look at one of the aforementioned blokes and think “wow good for you!” And that’s about as far as it goes…haha!

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply

Laurie Free

May 19, 2015

Love this!! thanks for putting it in to words

LikeLike

Laurie Free

May 19, 2015

I hit enter to soon..I used to be fitness instructor and good Lord the pressure in that industry is unbelievable probably not the best venue for me due to anorexic past..my point being.. anyways more blogging and awareness needs to be done and I love how you can tie in humor!! I Have written a lot of blogs on the topic and I come across as angry ..and maybe funny or sarcastic but I do get angry wuth society for their double speak on the topic on all levels. . omg I almost got on soap box..xo great blog

LikeLike

The Human Mare

May 19, 2015

I correlate it with the Men’s “Rights” movement and the All lives matter movements.
Yes, we know guys. We get that you have rights, but that isn’t really why women are objecting. It’s that you have and always have had those rights particularly because you’re guys and by default tradition, men have made the laws that govern the rest of us. Forgive my eyeroll when I see that phrase used. If you believe that is necessary, then you are part of the problem.

All lives matter fits into the similar situation. I saw a graphic that summed up the duh for that. “You wouldn’t run through a Cancer research fundraiser screaming “But there are other diseases!”

By tossing in the Men’s Rights Movement and the All Lives Matter, it’s belittling the importance of the other causes that truly are fighting for rights that are taken for granted. It’s trying to hijack the spotlight so the causes that need attention are split and diverted by not giving them the full attention they deserve.

Dad bods are Average woman bods for males. They’re just that. Average fellows doing average things with average lives and average women who bear their average kids. I’m telling you, it’s the law of averages!

LikeLike

GET THE DADBOD! | Storytime with John

May 20, 2015

[…] ← […]

LikeLiked by 1 person

Jennifer

May 20, 2015

I kind of had to laugh when I hear about the “Dadbod” on a local morning radio show. The men on the show were like, “Yeah this is great, I can be just me and nobody really cares!” After thinking about it can we compare it to the Mombod, which is stretched out, worn out, and screams I am tired and I am not going back into shape no matter how much you try to put me back there! I mean that’s what my first thought was when I first heard about the “Dadbod.” After hearing all the arguments that came through on the radio a lot of it made sense. A lot of the women who called in kept saying the same thing over and over again, “it not comfortable to lay your head on a rock.” I happen to agree, Personally for me, I do not like men who are body builder buff. I find it unattractive and disgusting. Overweight men (obese men) I am so sorry but head does not turn that way. And too skinny…well honey, there is nothing really to hold onto. Quite frankly, I really do like the average male body type. I mean a little defination goes a long way, and its very appealing. I know…Wow what a standard to set! As for the whole “Dadbod” thing well, it just like what we moms go through. Yes, its a double standard that women are considered unappealing when we gain too much weight, but we end up eating what out little ones eat because ya don’t want to waste any food, and you get so wrapped up into a schedule and routine that you forget yourself. I would have to say its the same thing for men who are really involved with their families. I have also noticed this to with men. If a man is married he also gives off more appeal to single women. The reason being is because he is not a threat the way a single guy on the prowl is. Not to mention he comes across as caring, nurturing, warm, and above all understanding. So its not just the body type that is appealing, its the mentality too.

LikeLike

Ah, the Dad Bod… | Space to Babble

May 20, 2015

[…] began to write this as a “thought” or comment on Storytime with Johns post The Dadbod Myth, but then it morphed into something so long I could no longer class it as a comment, so I decided […]

LikeLiked by 1 person

japidoo

May 20, 2015

I liked this post, and I was writing a comment here, but then thought that the comment was too long, so I’ve written a response post instead, you can find it here https://thinkingthoughtsithunk.wordpress.com/2015/05/20/ah-the-dad-bod/

I agree with a lot of the comments above as well, seeing Jennifer’s comment up there ^ is part of the point I tried to make in my post – the mentality of people affects their self worth, and the way they look can seriously affect that – some people strive for ‘physical perfection’ with the toned abs and defined muscles, whereas others are happy with their dad bod.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Storytime with John

May 21, 2015

I’m reading now, will comment on your post!

LikeLike

Reply

What Makes a Man Attractive? | Gable House and Co.

May 23, 2015

[…] So there you have it, and if you want to know why I brought this topic up you can catch my comment over at Storytime John who posted, “The Dadbod Myth.” […]

LikeLike

BellyBytes

May 25, 2015

I always thought that the only time a man had issues with his body was to get into that wedding suit

LikeLike

Storytime with John

May 26, 2015

hahaha, ordinarily 😉

LikeLike

Reply

Ritu

May 25, 2015

I must have been living with my head in the sand…. What was a Dadbod!?? Well I know now, and hey, it takes all sorts for the world to go round…..

LikeLike

Storytime with John

May 26, 2015

These things come and go, don’t feel bad – actually feel relief you didn’t have to encounter such a thing!

LikeLike

Reply

Melinda de los Santos

May 28, 2015

I’ve met some educated and self-reliant businesswomen who told me in so many words that a guy with a little paunch is more attractive to them than the ones with the washboard abs. I wonder if that’s true for the women in Korea. (I didn’t think to asl them.) 😀

LikeLike

vinnieh

May 30, 2015

Your posts are so good, really enjoy reading them.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Storytime with John

May 31, 2015

Happy to hear that my friend!

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply

Joe Brooks

Jun 3, 2015

John, very funny. Great thoughtful and insightful questions told I a humorous way. You have a good, strong writer’s voice which I admire.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Storytime with John

Jun 4, 2015

Joe you made my day my friend, many thanks!

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply

EmilyKrasny

Jun 20, 2015

ok storytime with john is now my favorite storytime

LikeLiked by 1 person

Storytime with John

Jun 21, 2015

Oh yessss! Great to hear that! Thank you!

LikeLike

Reply

amandaquirky

May 18, 2015

I believe you’re exactly right, on all counts: the differing levels of body-shaming, the ridiculousness of equating the male and female experiences, the fact that being rich and famous just *might* play some part in attractiveness; and I love your acknowledgment of how silly it is, to tell someone who’s never been shackled in the first place, to run free.

Congrats on having a book out, by the way. I *will* buy it, you know, soon… ish…

LikeLiked by 3 people

1. Storytime with John
  
  May 19, 2015
  
  Hey Amanda, missed you! I do always think it’s silly to try and match/equal the two gender experiences…as if there is no difference at all…there is but that difference is an interesting and beautiful thing. Silly for sure.
  
  LikeLike
  
A.E. Rivenbark

May 18, 2015

Completely agree. It was mind boggling to me that it was even news. You mean nothing’s changed? Phew! For a minute there I thought I could hop off that treadmill. Excellent post.

LikeLiked by 1 person

1. Storytime with John
  
  May 19, 2015
  
  BREAKING NEWS! CONTINUE AS NORMAL!
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
DitchTheBun

May 18, 2015

I think it depends on the type of male you are though. In Australia the reprisal of the skinny jean fashion craze (which I might add was proven to cut/restrict circulation the first time it was in fashion) also brought with it svelte or skinny models a la Matthew Gray Gubler and the numbers of cases of teen male eating disorders also raised very significantly because this is what they thought they had to be.
I still don’t really agree with the whole Dad-Bod thing and feel a better idea would be to promote “health at any size”. Some people are naturally skinny, but it is just as bad for them to eat a whole pizza every night as it is for someone like me who is more rotund 🙂 There needs to be less focus on size in general and more on nutrition and what effect different eating habits have on your body.
Sorry to get all serious on you 🙂

LikeLiked by 3 people

1. Storytime with John
  
  May 19, 2015
  
  Ah mannnn we’re getting into it now! I would argue that such extremely unfortunate disorders would be more likely present in teens/younger men ~ I am talking more about the regular average bloke than the new wave of millennial we are seeing come through in recent years. Anyway that’s a whole different discussion I feel, I would definitely encourage healthy eating over a focus ln size – but as we know the media/magazines/hollywood don’t give two shits about that it’s all about what you look like. In fact if you are slim and still eat pizza they will herald you as some kind of hero. It’s ridiculous, backwards, and in some cases destructive but that’s the world we are in. I hope opening up conversation on the matter can encourage growth and change.
  
  LikeLiked by 2 people
  
  1. DitchTheBun
    
    May 19, 2015
    
    “In fact if you are slim and still eat pizza they will herald you as some kind of hero” – You are so on point with this statement. It is truly terrible.
    As you said in your post (somewhat sarcastically, but it was a good point) some people think it is only okay to look the way they do because someone else tells them so AKA pop culture 🙂 This is a horrible thing and when I have kids I will do everything I can to fight that trend in them.
    The unfortunate fact is that this is reality, this is what people accept and believe. It has taken me a LONG time to accept and love myself for who I am and ignore what society has tried to make me. I honestly think I am a better person now with all my jiggly bits, than I was when I was a starving skinny bitch… seriously… lack of pizza and chocolate make me a hella cranky Librarian – and I was really ill, I wasn’t healthy.
    Unfortunately I feel that there will be tiny baby steps all the way (with some inevitable U-turns) before we get anywhere close to turning society around on this one. But perhaps the “fat is beautiful” & “dadbod” (as much as I dislike both terms) is a first step? I don’t necessarily like it, but is it a step in the right direction???
    
    LikeLike
mandibelle16

May 18, 2015

Hmmm hard one. I like nice abs and pecs but I feel bad for men who can’t attain that figure. But I also agree men don’t face the same pressure woman do to look tiny and thin. I think a better solution is an everybody be healthy and exercise and mostly eat right body. Cause eating a whole crate of chips just isn’t acceptable for anyone

LikeLike

1. Storytime with John
  
  May 19, 2015
  
  haha, everyone can but the will is only there in a small percentage ~ you don’t have to feel bad though we are trading that for the enjoyment of good (aka bad) food! 😉 on a serious note I do agree it should be about healthy regimes on both sides! Surely? !
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
Jules Strawberry

May 18, 2015

THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT! Along with, WTH Leo got fat!

Thanks for keeping it real!

Cheers!

LikeLiked by 2 people

1. Storytime with John
  
  May 19, 2015
  
  Yeah, hahaha ~ when did that happen all of a sudden?!
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
imperfectant

May 18, 2015

I love reading your stuff. Never fails to put a smile on my face 🙂

LikeLiked by 1 person

1. Storytime with John
  
  May 19, 2015
  
  Lovely thought, thank you 🙂
  
  LikeLike
  
Aimer Boyz

May 18, 2015

Absolutely right. Funny and right 🙂
This is one area women could learn from men, “You’re not a supermodel, hey, move on.”

LikeLiked by 1 person

1. Storytime with John
  
  May 19, 2015
  
  It’s weird really, I look at one of the aforementioned blokes and think “wow good for you!” And that’s about as far as it goes…haha!
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
Laurie Free

May 19, 2015

Love this!! thanks for putting it in to words

LikeLike

Laurie Free

May 19, 2015

I hit enter to soon..I used to be fitness instructor and good Lord the pressure in that industry is unbelievable probably not the best venue for me due to anorexic past..my point being.. anyways more blogging and awareness needs to be done and I love how you can tie in humor!! I Have written a lot of blogs on the topic and I come across as angry ..and maybe funny or sarcastic but I do get angry wuth society for their double speak on the topic on all levels. . omg I almost got on soap box..xo great blog

LikeLike

The Human Mare

May 19, 2015

I correlate it with the Men’s “Rights” movement and the All lives matter movements.
Yes, we know guys. We get that you have rights, but that isn’t really why women are objecting. It’s that you have and always have had those rights particularly because you’re guys and by default tradition, men have made the laws that govern the rest of us. Forgive my eyeroll when I see that phrase used. If you believe that is necessary, then you are part of the problem.

All lives matter fits into the similar situation. I saw a graphic that summed up the duh for that. “You wouldn’t run through a Cancer research fundraiser screaming “But there are other diseases!”

By tossing in the Men’s Rights Movement and the All Lives Matter, it’s belittling the importance of the other causes that truly are fighting for rights that are taken for granted. It’s trying to hijack the spotlight so the causes that need attention are split and diverted by not giving them the full attention they deserve.

Dad bods are Average woman bods for males. They’re just that. Average fellows doing average things with average lives and average women who bear their average kids. I’m telling you, it’s the law of averages!

LikeLike

GET THE DADBOD! | Storytime with John

May 20, 2015

[…] ← […]

LikeLiked by 1 person

Jennifer

May 20, 2015

I kind of had to laugh when I hear about the “Dadbod” on a local morning radio show. The men on the show were like, “Yeah this is great, I can be just me and nobody really cares!” After thinking about it can we compare it to the Mombod, which is stretched out, worn out, and screams I am tired and I am not going back into shape no matter how much you try to put me back there! I mean that’s what my first thought was when I first heard about the “Dadbod.” After hearing all the arguments that came through on the radio a lot of it made sense. A lot of the women who called in kept saying the same thing over and over again, “it not comfortable to lay your head on a rock.” I happen to agree, Personally for me, I do not like men who are body builder buff. I find it unattractive and disgusting. Overweight men (obese men) I am so sorry but head does not turn that way. And too skinny…well honey, there is nothing really to hold onto. Quite frankly, I really do like the average male body type. I mean a little defination goes a long way, and its very appealing. I know…Wow what a standard to set! As for the whole “Dadbod” thing well, it just like what we moms go through. Yes, its a double standard that women are considered unappealing when we gain too much weight, but we end up eating what out little ones eat because ya don’t want to waste any food, and you get so wrapped up into a schedule and routine that you forget yourself. I would have to say its the same thing for men who are really involved with their families. I have also noticed this to with men. If a man is married he also gives off more appeal to single women. The reason being is because he is not a threat the way a single guy on the prowl is. Not to mention he comes across as caring, nurturing, warm, and above all understanding. So its not just the body type that is appealing, its the mentality too.

LikeLike

Ah, the Dad Bod… | Space to Babble

May 20, 2015

[…] began to write this as a “thought” or comment on Storytime with Johns post The Dadbod Myth, but then it morphed into something so long I could no longer class it as a comment, so I decided […]

LikeLiked by 1 person

japidoo

May 20, 2015

I liked this post, and I was writing a comment here, but then thought that the comment was too long, so I’ve written a response post instead, you can find it here https://thinkingthoughtsithunk.wordpress.com/2015/05/20/ah-the-dad-bod/

I agree with a lot of the comments above as well, seeing Jennifer’s comment up there ^ is part of the point I tried to make in my post – the mentality of people affects their self worth, and the way they look can seriously affect that – some people strive for ‘physical perfection’ with the toned abs and defined muscles, whereas others are happy with their dad bod.

LikeLiked by 1 person

1. Storytime with John
  
  May 21, 2015
  
  I’m reading now, will comment on your post!
  
  LikeLike
  
What Makes a Man Attractive? | Gable House and Co.

May 23, 2015

[…] So there you have it, and if you want to know why I brought this topic up you can catch my comment over at Storytime John who posted, “The Dadbod Myth.” […]

LikeLike

BellyBytes

May 25, 2015

I always thought that the only time a man had issues with his body was to get into that wedding suit

LikeLike

1. Storytime with John
  
  May 26, 2015
  
  hahaha, ordinarily 😉
  
  LikeLike
  
Ritu

May 25, 2015

I must have been living with my head in the sand…. What was a Dadbod!?? Well I know now, and hey, it takes all sorts for the world to go round…..

LikeLike

1. Storytime with John
  
  May 26, 2015
  
  These things come and go, don’t feel bad – actually feel relief you didn’t have to encounter such a thing!
  
  LikeLike
  
Melinda de los Santos

May 28, 2015

I’ve met some educated and self-reliant businesswomen who told me in so many words that a guy with a little paunch is more attractive to them than the ones with the washboard abs. I wonder if that’s true for the women in Korea. (I didn’t think to asl them.) 😀

LikeLike

vinnieh

May 30, 2015

Your posts are so good, really enjoy reading them.

LikeLiked by 1 person

1. Storytime with John
  
  May 31, 2015
  
  Happy to hear that my friend!
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
Joe Brooks

Jun 3, 2015

John, very funny. Great thoughtful and insightful questions told I a humorous way. You have a good, strong writer’s voice which I admire.

LikeLiked by 1 person

1. Storytime with John
  
  Jun 4, 2015
  
  Joe you made my day my friend, many thanks!
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
EmilyKrasny

Jun 20, 2015

ok storytime with john is now my favorite storytime

LikeLiked by 1 person

1. Storytime with John
  
  Jun 21, 2015
  
  Oh yessss! Great to hear that! Thank you!
  
  LikeLike

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