Tag: funny

• The Dadbod Myth

  Okay internet, we have to talk…and I think you know why… The fabled “Dadbod” thing that seems to be doing the rounds recently…apparently it’s the new hot thing? That every woman cannot resist? Is…this…like, are you actually for real though? You mean to say that suddenly those Grecian demi-god types, those sculpted walking statues, those action figurine…

  May 18, 2015

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• The Facebook You

  Thanks to the dear old internet we all know and love, we live a rather strange and abstract state of being. A one filled with more tricks than the mightiest of magicians. And just like the illusionist we are constantly revealing only select parts of ourselves, but refusing to show the whole thing to anyone…for fear we…

  May 14, 2015

  Musings

• A Suffocating Child

  I remember seeing the little warning notes on plastic carrier bags as a kid…something along the lines of ‘To avoid danger of suffocation, keep away from babies and children!’ And like most people (I imagine) I thought “DURRRRRRRRRR! Why must people constantly be told what is glaringly obvious?!”  Well…hmmm…about that one… Today I wandered into a classroom to be…

  May 13, 2015

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• OLD PEOPLE…FIIIIIIIGHT!

  A story about a FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT on the subway! People need to calm down, seriously – but anyway, here the tale is here! : www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn www.youtube.com/storytimewithjohn101 Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!

  May 11, 2015

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• Cockroach Crisis

  How are you supposed to deal with an incoming attack?! Probably not kicking and screaming? Well…yeah sure…that actually makes sense. Listen…I know I am technically a grown man and all that kind of jazz (I’m not but the government forms tell me I am)…but cockroaches freak me out. Am I the only one? I mean…

  May 9, 2015

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• Mixed Messages

  You can’t win em all… Play good music at my funeral, and have a few drinks in my honor. That’s all I ask. www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn www.youtube.com/storytimewithjohn101 Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds go towards Macmillan Cancer Support!

  May 7, 2015

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• Genius on the Subway!

  As we all probably know…it’s often a challenge to get a seat on the subway, especially at rush hour! But this young genius had the answer… Spotted somewhere near Seoul – proven way to be guaranteed a seat! Brilliant! www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn www.youtube.com/storytimewithjohn101 Please buy my collection of stories! Get it in paperback here – or on Kindle here! ALL proceeds…

  May 4, 2015

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• The Sandwich Day

  We are often told by Hallmark card sentimentalists that “life is a rollercoaster”, and that “there are ups and downs”, and whatever else they bother to print. Which may or may not be true, but that’s not the point I’m making. Instead I am just stating that these printed catch-all messages don’t prepare you for the real depressingly low slumps in…

  May 1, 2015

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• Nature Man

  I thought about my future recently and it upset me a little. Well no, that’s an understatement – the actual fact is it depressed me so much it actually gave me energy. You see, before I had bothered to ponder the next few steps I was seriously conked out…and despite it being only 7:30pm I…

  April 29, 2015

  Musings

• The Rebellion of the Stomach

  This is a bit of an over-share, I know that for certain…but I am hoping someone can shine some light on what is so far a very dark day… So after an innocent child mistook my man boobs for actual woman’s boobs sometime last week (to my absolute horror), I decided that perhaps I should clean…

  April 21, 2015

  Musings