Wacky Races

It seems that in Nepal, like a lot of the developing world, road safety takes somewhat of a backseat. And by taking a backseat I mean it is kicked out all together and is basically nowhere to be seen…like honestly, you permanently feel like you are in a episode of Wacky Races…except in this case if you smash into a wall and burst into flames you are a lot less likely to be ready to shoot the next scene, real life is restrictive like that! What a bummer!

Wacky Races pic

Actually come to think of it, it was the exact same in China when I went on a trip to see the Three Gorges Dam…you wanted to be excited for your destination, after all you’d invested so much time scrolling through Wikipedia, but were more focused on saying your hail marys and promising yourself that if you make it through you will become a missionary and set up your own orphanage…

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Nature Man

I thought about my future recently and it upset me a little. Well no, that’s an understatement – the actual fact is it depressed me so much it actually gave me energy. You see, before I had bothered to ponder the next few steps I was seriously conked out…and despite it being only 7:30pm I was considering calling it a night. 

Sleepy GIF

But then…the thoughts came along like a gang of high-school bullies – kicking over inanimate structures in my head as they laughed, jeered, and sneered – effectively taking it in turns to shove my head down the toilet. The toilet being the peripheral glimpse into my future by way of uninspiring internet job searches…

Trawling the internet for something, anything. But nothing.

Lost GIF

I want to run away. Check out of this society we live in. Actually I would love to just live in a small wooden hut in the middle of a wood somewhere…France, Hungary, Fiji…it doesn’t really matter. I would live off the land, and people could visit me when they were stressed out from their high-powered and over-worked jobs. I’d brew my own beer, and be friends with the woodland critters. I wouldn’t have any need for modern appliances, or modern functions. I’d become a skilled craftsman, and if you were in the area you may hear me strumming away on a lute and singing a folk tune of my own making. It would be splendid, at one with nature – not at odds with it.

Tarzan GIF

I’d also have really fast Wi-Fi.

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Umbrella Please!

I should probably preface this by pointing out that (in my experience) Koreans are an amiable, friendly, and warm-hearted lot! But naturally there’s always the bad apples…and I met one on Saturday night…

The setting was central Itaewon, it’s a very ‘foreigner-friendly’ place, which isn’t particularly my bag – but I was out with friends, and we were heading to the next place in high spirits…it was then that we were stopped by a kind looking middle aged Korean lady, who looked rather unassuming, and normal…if there is such a look. Anyway, she was stroking my friends arm, and speaking in a soothing voice, what exactly I am unsure. But after a few awkward moments we started to walk away, and that is when all hell broke loose. That was when I definitely knew what she was saying…

“SHEEE-BAL! SHEEE-BAL! KAAAAYSECKY! SHEEE-BALLL!”

(“Fuck off! Fuck off! CUNT! FUCK OFFFF!”)

Nod Emma GIF

Yes, I know the swear words better than than the language itself, but let’s not focus on that issue! Let’s instead focus more on the fact that this stranger was suddenly spitting (literally) at us, for just carrying on our way. I actually didn’t know what to do – I don’t think anyone did who was there to behold the spectacle. She had just went from 0-100…from a sweet Minnie Mouse, to a mad spluttering Donald Duck. 

All I could do was try and dodge the spittle, because no matter how much I wished that I had an umbrella – I knew that wouldn’t make it suddenly appear.

KAAAAYSECKY! SHEEE-BALLL! KAAAYYYSECCCCCKY!” 

Her eyes were flooded with violence, as she wagged her arms like mad hate-filled propellers in our general direction. We stared in disbelief, and then just shrugged, and turned away…hoping she wouldn’t follow us further to give us an earful! Thankfully she didn’t – I’m assuming she must have met another unsuspecting group, and started the whole mad conversation all over again.

Single life, huh? Fun times. 

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GET RICH QUICK!

That’s everyone’s aim right…no? Oh, well perhaps not – but if it is your aim then maybe you would do well to watch this video – so that you can see how NOT to do it!  What we have here are Korean compensation scam artists caught in the act! What ensues is just all out ridiculousness…

Courtesy of The Korea Observer ~

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KID’S DRAWINGS SUCK! (RANT)

I had to get this off my chest – it’s an injustice that should be made history, immediately! Why we put up with it I just don’t know! 

I think I made my point…ish…kinda

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Playroom Craziness

Dammit! Always so full of energy on Monday morning…I guess they’re pretty excitable too!

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