Episode 5: New Glasses | 15 Minutes(ish) of Blame | Comedy Podcast

The boys get into a heated argument regarding John’s new glasses. Jonny feels they have made him suddenly feel he is far superior and that as a result he is being unbearably patronising…John thinks he just doesn’t have the intellectual capacity to comprehend his own thoughts. Fun but ridiculous…ish.

15 Minutes(ish) of Blame is your bi-weekly dose of funny, featuring two real-life best mates and on-camera worst enemies, John Lee Taggart and Jonny Coyne. Subscribe and follow on the Instagrams and Youtubes, and how about listening on the Spotifys and whatever elses? Cheers.

P.s. Thank you to all Storytime with John readers for bearing with me during these COVID-19 times…after my last announcement we decided to finally get the first ten episodes knocked out and edited by driving to an Air BnB in the middle of nowhere Scotland…this is just the first of many, hope you all enjoy this new daft format!

#ComedyPodcast#Podcast#15MinsBlame

Episode 4: Billy 3 Chainz | 15 Minutes(ish) of Blame | Comedy Podcast

In John’s absence Jonny is joined by up and coming drill rapper, Billy 3 Chainz (not chins). Billy touches on his family’s gangster affiliations, the influence of the Hackney streets, and his ongoing feud with 2 Chainz. We are also spoiled to numerous freestyles…they’re hot…ish.

15 Minutes(ish) of Blame is your bi-weekly dose of funny, featuring two real-life best mates and on-camera worst enemies, John Lee Taggart and Jonny Coyne. Subscribe and follow on the Instagrams and Youtubes, and how about listening on the Spotifys and whatever elses? Cheers.

P.s. Thank you to all Storytime with John readers for bearing with me during these COVID-19 times…after my last announcement we decided to finally get the first ten episodes knocked out and edited by driving to an Air BnB in the middle of nowhere Scotland…this is just the first of many, hope you all enjoy this new daft format!

#ComedyPodcast#Podcast#15MinsBlame

Episode 3: Dorito Intros | 15 Minutes(ish) of Blame | Comedy Podcast

After drinking all day the boys think it is very clever to introduce one another, after failing so badly in the first episode, by using the running metaphors of Chilli Heatwave and Tangy Cheese Doritos. It wasn’t. Still funny…ish.

15 Minutes(ish) of Blame is your bi-weekly dose of funny, featuring two real-life best mates and on-camera worst enemies, John Lee Taggart and Jonny Coyne. Subscribe and follow on the Instagrams and Youtubes, and how about listening on the Spotifys and whatever elses? Cheers.

P.s. Thank you to all Storytime with John readers for bearing with me during these COVID-19 times…after my last announcement we decided to finally get the first ten episodes knocked out and edited by driving to an Air BnB in the middle of nowhere Scotland…this is just the first of many, hope you all enjoy this new daft format!

#ComedyPodcast#Podcast#15MinsBlame

Episode 2: Cabin in the Woods | 15 Minutes(ish) of Blame | Comedy Podcast

The boys take us through traumatising times in West Virginia during a US road trip, they also touch on racist country music, Limewire, and genetics…ish.

15 Minutes(ish) of Blame is your bi-weekly dose of funny, featuring two real-life best mates and on-camera worst enemies, John Lee Taggart and Jonny Coyne. Subscribe and follow on the Instagrams and Youtubes, and how about listening on the Spotifys and whatever elses? Cheers.

P.s. Thank you to all Storytime with John readers for bearing with me during these COVID-19 times…after my last announcement we decided to finally get the first ten episodes knocked out and edited by driving to an Air BnB in the middle of nowhere Scotland…this is just the first of many, hope you all enjoy this new daft format!

#ComedyPodcast #Podcast #15MinsBlame

Episode 1: Pilot | 15 Minutes(ish) of Blame | Comedy Podcast

In this first episode the boys try to introduce one another, and end up reminiscing about the Lord of the Rings warzone that was secondary school. Good times…ish.

15 Minutes(ish) of Blame is your bi-weekly dose of funny, featuring two real-life best mates and on-camera worst enemies, John Lee Taggart and Jonny Coyne. Subscribe and follow on the Instagrams and Youtubes, and how about listening on the Spotifys and whatever elses? Cheers.

P.s. Thank you to all Storytime with John readers for bearing with me during these COVID-19 times…after my last announcement we decided to finally get the first ten episodes knocked out and edited by driving to an Air BnB in the middle of nowhere Scotland…this is just the first of many, hope you all enjoy this new daft format!

#ComedyPodcast #Podcast #15MinsBlame

MIA: So many stories to tell.

Oh my Lordy, here he is: the prodigal son of WordPress – he was lost and now he is found, praise be to Baby Jesus!

Hi everyone, I know it has been forever and you’re probably wondering one of three things, either 1.) “Where have you been?!”, 2.)”What have you been doing?!”, or 3.) “Who the fuck are you?!” Perhaps even a mean-spirited cocktail of the three…not very festive but all good points. To tell you the truth I have been working, hard. See below:

I currently lead the Comms and creative campaigns for a small charity based in the UK – there’s always so much to do for this great cause, which takes me around the world (which yes, I still love) introducing me to beautiful souls on a daily basis. I can’t complain, it’s a dream in so many different ways!

But it has meant my own personal stuffs has suffered, and this makes me sad. I want to find the time to redevelop Storytime with John (if you still all want to hear from me!) – keep yo’ eyes peeled for 2020. Love, hugs, and tinsel kisses to all!

#StoryTimeWithJohn #ComebackKing #HashTagFREEK #Humour #Comedy #Laughs

Land of Fire and Ice (Iceland)

Iceland – Reykjavik ~2018

Life can move in very strange ways, and sometimes has a sense of weird irony that isn’t always immediately clear. Case in point, just a couple of weeks ago I was traipsing around Iceland (the budget frozen goods store) in a typical slovenly fashion, wearing scruffy sweatpants and a grim look like most of the shop’s inhabitants – my happiness levels raised only momentarily by the occasional must-buy purchase; cheesy garlic breads £1, double chocolate ice cream £1.50, enormous multi-pack of crisps £2. Time machine it to a few days ago and I am stood in actual Iceland, wearing no scruffy sweatpants (yes, I was wearing clothes, I’m not a maniac), marvelling at the natural beauty of the landscape and soaking in the living and breathing personality that this wonderful part of the world expresses.

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Not to ruin the picture I’ve just painted or anything…but I was also super pissed at how expensive actual Iceland is compared to frozen chicken nuggets Iceland. £10 for one diddy bottle of beer whut whuttt?! You could buy a whole deep-fried farm for that!

Iceland, the fabled “Land of Ice and Fire”, could not be more appropriately named…and it has to be said right off the bat that I give absolute props to any of the (just over) 300,000 people that despite all logic and common sense have decided to look pulsing volcanoes, feet upon feet of snow, regular sandstorms and much more not so fun stuff in the face and state, “I’m still staying. Fuck you.” After all, we all know the kind of effect that weather can have on people mentally, not to mention the physical obstacles of lava melting your toes.

*Insert moment of silence for all the lava toes lost out there*

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It seems that people in general are just as impressed and curious as we were beforehand: Reykjavik, which comprises the majority of Iceland’s population and trade, has been flourishing in recent years, with record numbers now visiting to see what all of the fuss is about. A record 1.73 million in 2016, up 34% from the previous year. These tourists probably come for the Blue Lagoon and the Northern Lights, sure, but I would hope they stay for the breathtaking fjords and the rainbows that dance precariously across waterfalls, for the fresh clean air and the naturally heated pools, for the 100% renewable electricity and tap water straight from a glacier…and then…when all of these incredible features have them stumped as to how they’ll ever return to ordinary cosmopolitan life…leave. Because how can any normal person afford to keep spending so much on soup and bread?

In all seriousness returning to ordinary life after adventuring around such a majestic part of the globe, has had be down in the dumps in a major way. I’ll probably try to cure this feeling by revisiting Iceland at some point…for some cheesy garlic breads, double chocolate ice cream, and an enormous multi-pack of crisps.

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The magic of Iceland, a place in which apparently a large percentage of the populous believe in trolls and elves, continues to play on my mind. There is a sense of unknown in such a place, an unreliability that doesn’t often accompany life in towns and cities – save petty drama at work, or news that someone you thought was great in a movie turns out to actually be a bit of a nightmare. There’s a freedom in not having the shackles of corporate life weighing quite so heavily on your conscience – because things like staying alive take precedent (big shout out to my fiancée for navigating many a snow storm and sheer drop on the road in a car the size of a cereal box).

Iceland = two big frosty thumbs up from me – just make sure you pack your thermals and remortgage your house to have enough cash to get a round of beers in.

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When England Meets Heat (Top 8)

 Something horrendous is happening to the once fair and graceful people of the formerly benevolent and peaceful  United Kingdom: this thing is transforming them into slow-moving, reddened, depleted semi-nude versions of themselves…and it shows no signs of relenting (until next week probably). 

Sun-pocalypse, is what some (me) are dubbing it – the few days in the year when the sun comes out, and British people freak the fuck out. Well, this year the rare appearance of that ball of blazes in the sky has, as ever, been accompanied by frenzied tabloid articles from The Sun (COINCIDENCE?! I THINK NOT!) about a looming killer heatwave approximate in temperature to the inside of a volcano. Cue warnings about not straying outside with your dog or she will melt, don’t give your Nan too much ice cream or she runs the risk of Cornet Clots…that sort of thing.

Yeah, it’s ridiculous – it’s a total farce: but we wouldn’t really have it any other way. “It’s just a bit of sun, what’s the big deal?” ask Aussies, Spaniards, and just about everyone else apart from Eskimos – but we are Brits, and we like to complain. So, stop attacking our culture, jheez.

Without further rambling here’s the top eight stupid things that we seem to do in the sun. If you are a Brit and don’t recognise any of these then you are either a liar, an impostor, or you have such a high degree of sun stroke that it is affecting your ability for rational thought (go get checked, I’m worried about you man) : 

1. We make obvious statements about the weather…

Okay so you look out of the window and it is sunny – you make a comment to a friend or colleague about this observation…something along the lines of: “it is sunny outside”, or “it is very sunny outside”, or perhaps if you are feeling a little outrageous: “wow, it is very sunny outside.” 

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You then have a five to ten minute exchange with said person in which you make parallels to how it was cold last week, and how it was even colder in Winter. Perhaps you share an anecdote or two, like the fact that you made a snowman back in February and now your diet is almost entirely comprised of ice cream…it’s craziness! Madness of the highest order! It’s also oh so bland. 

2. Partake in daytime drinking because, sun…

Listen, there are set rigid rules set out by our good Lord and creator himself that we must live by…struggle with. It’s a massive shame and not ideal in the slightest but we just have to get on with it and maintain our stiff upper lip.

One of these rules is that you must drink alcohol at any time in the airport when going on your summer holiday. I don’t care that it is 6am and you don’t feel like it – this is your duty to Queen and country…you must be pissed by 7:30am whilst boarding your plane or a Beef-Eater will come around your house and take away your television. That’s the rule, it’s in the fucking Magna Carta for God’s sake, so just shut up and abide by it.

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Another rule is that due to lovely long summer days daytime drinking in general becomes not just acceptable, but vigorously encouraged. Screw the whole waiting till 3pm thing…get in a beer garden and stay put – last week the weather was miserable so make the fucking most of it. (Sidenote: I know it’s a work/school night but just stay for one more, one more, one more…until you get the sack).

 

3. Get the guns/gut out…

Now not everyone is like me and has the body of a Greek God (shadddap I mean Dionysus, God of fertility and wine – oioi!) so they really should think twice before stripping off in public. Keyword there, should, but many don’t…in fact there is something about the start of British summertime that makes men think they are already doing a tour of Zante or Ibiza…

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I mean sure, if you’ve got it then flaunt it babez – but you’re going to pick up a couple of pints of green top milk for your Mam, please clothe yourself and save it for the beach.

 

4. Share your music with the world…

It’s summer, so you can get away with murder when it comes to your car playlist. You would likely get some peculiar looks looks from white van men if you were blasting Wham! on full belt during a grim wintry January evening – but add a little sun into the mix and you will receive knowing nods, thumbs up, and smiley sing-a-longs.

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Disclaimer: people may also throw things at you – please don’t hold me responsible for this. 

 

5. Be outraged that a 99 Flake doesn’t cost 99p…

“Back in my day they were 99p!” you croak through your wrinkled sallow face, suddenly feeling decades older. But it is true, the price has gone up quite a bit since the 1990s, when you could get yourself a 99 for 99p. But then again you could also get three houses, two cars on credit, and a jacuzzi fitted in your brand-new conservatory. Inflation, we hate you, ya bastard.

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Oh and while we are on, what is with calling “Monkey’s Blood” strawberry sauce?! I am going to write a strongly worded letter to my MP to really get – urgh scratch that…I am only 26, imagine how insufferable I will be by the time I reach retirement age. Apologies.

6. Have a food-poison laden spontaneous BBQ…

 

You know people the world over seem to denounce the Great British cuisine as lesser than shit, denigrating it to the ranks of some of the most boring flavourless tripe that humankind has ever seen. Now I find that unfair, because whilst it may not be exotic by any stretch of the imagination, it is most definitely interesting…and the British summer BBQ is evidence of that.

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By interesting I mean it will do unusual things to your insides – in fact it may likely kill you. But you wouldn’t want to be seen as impolite at a family BBQ so you munch half-hardheartedly at that suspect meat provided in a dry bun by your knobhead Uncle…dreading the next couple of hours that will undoubtedly be filled with a vile burning sensation…and not a one that after-sun can cure either.

7. Sunbathe in the front garden…

Most people don’t even go out most of the time: I mean, why would you when you have television and YouTube at your fingertips…but the sun makes people do caaaraaayzeee, things, things like well, (gasp) going outdoors.

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Suddenly that front step, that little bit of patio, or that patch of grass outside your house, are transformed into a paradise land that should be enjoyed for all they are worth. You get a chair and plonk it down, you survey your kingdom…every square foot of it. This is what summer is all about: “this is great why don’t I do this more often it’sss-fuckkkk I think I am burning” – 

8. Slap on the sun cream – realise you missed a spot…

Now I am whiter than white: so white I likely couldn’t even be a hue of paint…and even if you managed to create such a thing –  no one would want it. For instance I step outdoors  for a few moments to check if I should wear a long-sleeve or a t-shirt and-SIZZLE SIZZLE-my face swells up like one hundred pounds of ham.

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But like a lot of people in these lands I have a love-hate relationship with sun cream. I love that there is a cream that is supposed to help me not become an embarrassing shade of red, and yet I hate that said cream because it doesn’t fucking work at all. Most miss a spot, I seemingly miss all of my spots and then get actual spots due to the fact I just slathered a bunch of grease over my pores…

Ahhh summer, don’t you just love it?! Roll on Autumn. 


Well, what did I miss? Let me know…but I am about to return to my cave and stay there until the sun goes back into hiding – see you in a couple of months. 

FIRST FEATURE FILM: Montserrat Madness

COMING SOON – the dramatic epic that is sure to rock the world: a tale of two men, one mountain, and lots of stress fuelled largely by a lack of fitness.

This really tickled me, and I hope it does for you too – in a world where it seems horrendous things happen all too often, it is joy and happiness which should reign supreme:

You really should subscribe to his channel if you are big on the YouTubez, as my friend is not only a talented young whippersnapper but is also offering free cakes to the first few people who get in touch with him. DISCLAIMER: you have to fly all the way to South Korea to pick up said cakes, by then they may be gone, also I may have made this whole thing up – but still, subscribe anyway? Thanks pals.


I hope everyone is doing well, I have had a whole lot going on lately but haven’t forgotten about all you lovely people…I have Barcelona (Spain) to write about, Gdansk (Poland) next month, and a couple of weeks on the road in the USA in July…so let’s have everything crossed that I get my act in order and come back with some silliness after that – there’s bound to be a couple of tales. Till then, peace and love people – peace and love x

British & Korean vs. Barcelona (영국남자)

Check out my goofy bad self featuring in my friend’s brand spanking new YouTube channel…

Make sure to subscribe to his channel to keep the good stuff coming…the next one (Preview: 2:04) features an arduous hiking trail up Montserratt is sure to be an absolute crease…apologies in advance for the swearing and sweating that ensued.

#MakeStorytimeWithJohnGreatAgain