According to Gym

Okay, so this is a reply to a rather cheeky email I received yesterday(you know who you are!)…

So the sender asked me how my fitness/diet regime was going…first thought was; “urghhh, fuck you!” Because come on! I am sure anyone with a single brain cell will be able to tell that a pizza/ice cream lover such as myself, won’t be making dramatic transformations any time soon! And I certainly haven’t. 


You see I had a lot on my plate, you know…I was working a lot, and took on a lot of extra projects; including the NaNoWriMo novel. So starving myself, and running till I want to kill myself – fell down the pecking order when it came to importance. Also food is so delicious, which is a bummer. I blame the companies…I blame the…chef…I blame…cheese. I blame YOU.  Yeah, you reading this – it’s all your fault. I’m not sure why…but HOW DARE YOU.

Will Allergic GIF

Ahem. Sorry Will…I’m just joking, I have noticed some changes, I won’t show you the before picture…because I just looked and one of my nipples looks like a rotten hamburger for some reason, so the internet doesn’t need that. Trust me when I say I was a podgy little dumpling. The scales say I have only lost a gram (honestly!) since I begun, I did strip off like 2kg after a month or so, but then ice cream happened.

I feel half finished with it all, as I like doing weights, and that’s about it. I didn’t really get into it…the other day it was amazing, I was waiting for the elevator to go up to the gym…and I suddenly said to myself, “don’t go…how about we just don’t go?” And I was like, “yeah, great idea! Good thinking!” And then I turned around, and just walked out of the building,  I felt like a fucking time traveller! I had just saved time, I was like Doctor Who or something, I was about to be thrown into some horrible time vortex for a couple of hours, but now I would be able to do whatever I wanted! Namely lying down. Great!

Anyway, this is the “progress” so far – which I was reminded that I  I’d post (don’t recall this)…sorry about the middle finger, I am a little sensitive about my…well, everything. 


I am leaving Korea tomorrow, and have a day in China (Beijing), before heading back to England for Christmas! That will ensure the demise of any healthy eating routine…but there’s always next year? Right? Right. Also I am going through a break-up right now, so that is double servings of ice cream right there…yes, thugs like me have feelings too. 

Anyway…thanks for the email(s)! I really appreciate each, and every one of you guys – and I mean that sincerely! Merry Christmas if I don’t post again this month! Much love! x

29 Replies to “According to Gym”

  1. Merry Christmas to you too, John! And simply try to enjoy yourself. As soon as you are not that focused on your weight things will solve by themselves. Just do what you think feels healthy and do that on a regular base. You need to feel comfortable in first place.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember a sister of mine saying “you look good , then someone your size would” so I know where your coming from. I am nine stone and five foot so I know, I am not huge but could or should loose a stone. But what the… it’s Christmas. Have a good one.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Okay, whoever asked you about how the health regime was going, less than two weeks before Christmas is just cruel! I like to use this time to eat and drink as much as humanly possible, especially cheese – which in my mind is really what Christmas is all about. I think the more weight I put on now, the easier it’ll be and more satisfying it’ll be, to lose it when the healthy regime starts up again (with increased enthusiasm of course) on 2 January (1 January is just about surviving New Years Celebrations aftermath)! Have a great break and say hello to the UK for me 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t believe in denial/sacrifice where food is concerned. Just watch out for quantity. I eat a little of just about anything I want. I’ve been skinny in my life, it is highly overrated ! Enjoy your holiday, enjoy your life. Cheese rules.


  5. Food is delicious! What can you do? I found that when I’m putting less thought to it, and eat whatever, I lose weight. It’s the idea of a diet that actually makes me want to eat MORE!
    Merry Xmas and best of luck to you. Killer post 🙂


    1. hahaha! Yeah, you feel more compelled to BREAK the diet! As if you are being naughty or something, when it is YOU who put the rules in place! The diet isn’t going well (it’s dead actually) but 2015 is proving to be great otherwise! Wishing the best for you too!!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. While I don’t keep weight off permanently, if I were to give up the fight entirely, I’d probably become a blimp. I simply don’t receive condemnation, not even from myself. Some days I feel like de-blimping myself, so I do. I am thankful for those days. Merry Christmas. Be happy. Blessings to you, John…


  7. I can just see walking out of the elevator and skipping the gym. Way to go, you! I have joined way too many gyms only to drop out after three months. I also have a treadmill in my basement which I do my best to forget about.
    After eating like 6 desserts yesterday, my scale disowned me this morning and decided, yet again! that it was time to cut down. Ugh! You’re right food tastes too good 🙂

    Happy Holidays!

    P.S. From what I saw in that picture, you don’t have much to worry about 🙂


  8. Taking a study break and your post has me in belly splitting laughter. Thank you for the joy! 🙂 sorry to hear about the break up, but have faith that another lovely lady will come your way soon. For now keep doing you! Hope you make it to the gym soon, not for the weight loss but simply because it’s healthy to exercise. Perhaps you can find some other kind of exercise activity that you find more fun than going to the gym? Hope you are doing well and that you have a very merry Christmas 🙂


  9. Hi, you have a weight problem? You always look so slim. I love ice cream and pizza too. Please, enjoy the holidays. Also, do you work while traveling?


  10. All the “healthy” people at my work who have devoted their lives to exercise and sport now all need knee reconstructions, hip replacements and regular visits to the chiropractor for dodgy backs. Eat on good man and remember that a little extra subcutaneous fat has been proven to make you look younger. Thanks for the great reads and merry Christmas 🙂


  11. Dieting from October to March is hopeless for me. I work in a nursing home and families love to show their appreciation with food: Halloween (you know that candy is out October 1rst) Thanksgiving (leftovers for at least 2 weeks) My birthday followed by Christmas (you know those treats are out November 1rst) New Years, Ukrainian Christmas (I work in a nursing home…we do that too) Valentines (you know that crap is out January 2nd and it takes a few weeks after the day to finish that crap) Throw in a tropical vacation and I’m screwed. I am the queen of excuses and have the physique to prove it!


  12. John, you’re an inspiration to pizza and ice cream lovers across the globe. Namely my sister… and me I guess. Sometimes… DOWN WITH THE SYSTEM Yeah…. *awkward silence*
    But also, this time of year is THE WORST time to diet. So I think any excuse is a good excuse 😉


  13. The gym can wait, ice cream is forever! (Don’t listen to me, I’m pregnant and eating absolute garbage these days!!)
    And I’ll be that horrible person who enables all your excuses, but it does sound like you are completely justified in giving yourself a break and eating whatever the hell you want! Enjoy Christmas and attack the gym with a fury after the holidays are over! 🙂


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