Posted on by Storytime with John

Batman Returns

You may not expect it, but as a kindergarten teacher – you have to be VERY aware of what you wear, on a daily basis. If you just slap on clothes, without a second thought…you are asking for trouble!

Awful Wear GIF

Case in point, today I haphazardly threw on a Batman t-shirt, under an open shirt – without really thinking! I just thought it would be an ordinary day…how wrong I was! You see what ensued was an uncontrolled brazen assault by just about every child that spotted me – I had a target on my back! Well, you know…chest…but you get what I mean. They would come up, and attempt to beat me down with their chubby little fists – or attempt sneak attacks from the rear…which were very unwelcome, let me tell you that straight away. No one needs that kind of surprise, especially so early in the morning…the phantom fingers of death as you try to wash your hands…

Jonah Shock GIF

WOWWWEEEE! PLEASE DON’T!

Usually I dress differently, not for any real reason other than I wear what I like to wear – which just so happens to be shirts, ties, and blazers. I’m sure I look quite odd, a little out of place for a kindergarten teacher…who should probably be wearing a rainbow sweater, with like HAPPY UNICORN CHOCOLATE WISHES! Or something like that, written all over it! But no, it’s not really me.

Mind I totally understand where Batman is coming from now, especially the Christian Bale incarnation…not that I am saying I am like him or anything…although we do have the same chest, abs, and biceps…kinda...if you are in the right light…on the right day…HEY IT WAS JUST CHRISTMAS, NO FAIR! But yeah I can relate, I totally get why he was so pissed off all the time, and why his voice was so croaky…it was probably from all the Korean kindergarten kids jumping on him whenever they saw him, prodding him in every orifice – all the while he is screaming in failing desperation “NO, NO, NOOOO!”, but it’s no use! And he has now yelled so much that his voice starts to become crackly after time. He tries drinking honey, and lemon water…but it’s no use.

It would get to you after a while I’m sure. Short version of all this; I’m Batman, basically…but yeah, don’t tell the kids!

Party Hard Batman GIF

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31 Replies to “Batman Returns”

  3. Happy unicorn chocolate wishes!! Hahaha how did you think of that and where can I get one! I’m sure your kindergarteners secretly respect you even more for wearing a batman t-shirt 🙂

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      1. Well, it was christmas jumper day… And our classrooms get a tad hot in the winter, so I had to be prepared for layer removal time, especially as we had the class party that afternoon, and manic 4-5 year old dancing would commence!
        But I came out alive….! That’s what matters I guess!!!

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  10. Funny post…I taught art ed to a kindergarten class for a year and enjoyed most of it. There were lots of surprises. My favorite memory is
    of a little girl coming up to me and saying: “Mary promised to sit by me, and she’s sitting by Lisa. You make Mary sit by me!” I didn’t know, up to that moment, that I was the director of her social life.

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  11. Perhaps you could turn this to your advantage. Try wearing a shirt with peaceful pastoral scenes of flowers, trees, etc. Maybe that will placate the little scamps and keep them calm all day.

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