Elderly Children

The other day I laughed like I haven’t done in months…and it wasn’t from a well-crafted and intelligent political barb either, or an amusing satirical comment on Western society’s culture – or anything else that demands some level of brain activity to “get” – no…it was a lot more simple and pure than all of that, butContinue reading “Elderly Children”

Unwanted Room Mate

It’s a well recorded, and commonly recited sentiment – but you truly never know what sort of day a stranger on the street is having…of course our imagination fills in the huge gaping blanks, but that doesn’t mean we should trust these assessments – more often than not they are way off… Like you mayContinue reading “Unwanted Room Mate”

KIDS ARE WEIRDOS!

A spot of unfortunate toilet trouble ended up in me coming to one pretty solid conclusion…that kids are weird, and there’s no two ways around it! I mean what would you have done in this situation I found myself in… Every day is another lesson in straight up strangeness. I swear.  If you have aContinue reading “KIDS ARE WEIRDOS!”

The Honesty of Children

After a small child walked up to me recently, and massaged my wrinkled brow while repeating “McDonald’s man” over, and over and over again (for the 100th time might I add), I suddenly recognised something that I have came to realise is rather important – and that is that little kids really don’t give one solitaryContinue reading “The Honesty of Children”

How to WIN/LOSE Arguments with Kids!

There is nothing more frustrating than neverending arguments with kids…especially with adults who don’t really have a clue what the hell they are even talking about (which if we are honest is most of us)… But I’m here to help. Well, I’ll give it my best shot anyways… Errrrrr…good luck… If you have a videoContinue reading “How to WIN/LOSE Arguments with Kids!”

I LOVE JAR JAR!

I hope this doesn’t offend too many huge Star Wars fans out there; you know the die-hard types that actually put “Jedi” down as their religion on important forms, and hope to one day actually construct a real light saber in their garage workshop. I mean no harm, but please hear me out as IContinue reading “I LOVE JAR JAR!”

KIDS MAKE ME SICK.

Kids make me sick. And, no, not just uncomfortable, or a little bit queasy – but down right, pit of the stomach, SICK. It’s just something that they do that can turn that “thank God it’s Friday!” feeling, into “thank God I didn’t eat a large greasy breakfast”…let me run you through Friday’s events realContinue reading “KIDS MAKE ME SICK.”

The Killer Kid…

Another day…another note…this time with so much laughter involved that it quite literally can’t be contained by the speech bubble. Should I be worried? I am picking out my funeral tunes, and coffin costume just in case. At least I look pretty slim in this picture – that’s the one plus.  http://www.facebook.com/storytimewithjohn http://www.youtube.com/storytimewithjohn101 Please buy my collectionContinue reading “The Killer Kid…”

A Suffocating Child

I remember seeing the little warning notes on plastic carrier bags as a kid…something along the lines of ‘To avoid danger of suffocation, keep away from babies and children!’ And like most people (I imagine) I thought “DURRRRRRRRRR! Why must people constantly be told what is glaringly obvious?!”  Well…hmmm…about that one… Today I wandered into a classroom to beContinue reading “A Suffocating Child”

Cockroach Crisis

How are you supposed to deal with an incoming attack?! Probably not kicking and screaming? Well…yeah sure…that actually makes sense. Listen…I know I am technically a grown man and all that kind of jazz (I’m not but the government forms tell me I am)…but cockroaches freak me out. Am I the only one? I meanContinue reading “Cockroach Crisis”